Seems that they went to East Coast Park instead of Escape Theme Park today.
Well... it don't really matter.
I don't see myself the way people see me, just as people don't see the way they see themselves.
I don't wanna go this Wednesday... ...
Monday, December 29, 2008
Sunday, December 28, 2008
(28/12/2008)
3 more days to the end of 2008. It means nothing to me. It is simply the passing of another day, another 24 hours gone, 1 day closer to the end.
Yesetrday I ran... There never was this overwhelming urge to run, till yesterday... I don't know, Anger? Guilt? Sorrow? One of these emotions triggered it. Maybe 2 out of 3, or all 3. I don't know.
Why were there people staying behind yesterday when all the rest had left? Did they mean it? or did they fake it?
Yesetrday I ran... There never was this overwhelming urge to run, till yesterday... I don't know, Anger? Guilt? Sorrow? One of these emotions triggered it. Maybe 2 out of 3, or all 3. I don't know.
Why were there people staying behind yesterday when all the rest had left? Did they mean it? or did they fake it?
Saturday, December 27, 2008
(27/12/2008)
2 days ago was Christmas. 4 more days to the end of 2008. 361 days have passed by. And yet it only seems like yesterday was a brighter day.
The night is always darkest before the dawn... This may turn out to be the longest night ever. Or I'm trapped in a nightmare world.
The night is always darkest before the dawn... This may turn out to be the longest night ever. Or I'm trapped in a nightmare world.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Back home!
Kia Ora! I'm back at last from my 10 day tour of NZ, the land of the long clouds. Well in my previous post I blogged about the first 4 days, now I'm gonna blog about the remainging 6 days.
Day 5 (Christchurch to Queenstown)
Well, as mentioned in my previous post, I went to Queenstown, the main tourist town of the area. On the way there we were supposed to go to Mt. Cook, the tallest mountain in NZ. But unfortunately, due to the weather we could not go up the mountain... We did a jetboat ride, Was a very fun thing to do, gets your adrenaline rushing! Well, anyway the journey from Christchurch to Queenstown took almost the whole day. By the time we reached our hotel in Queenstown, it was already dinner time. We had chinese dinner, and it wasn't bad, rather good even. Afterwich, my family and I went shopping for movie memrobillia. So my mum got lotsa stuff, and I didn't get any Star Wars posters for myself... So in any case we went back to our hotel at around 8-9 pm, then we watched 'The Last King of Scotland' and drank kiwi fruit liquer, ate some kiwi fruit shortbread, chocolate, nuts, whatnot. We enjoyed ourselves.
Day 6 (Queenstown)
So, it was a free day for us so we did alot of optional tours, First thing on or list was to do Nomad Safaris Lord of the Rings tour. They showed us the place where they filmed the Lord of the Rings, and at the same time gave us a chance to pan for GOLD! I didn't strike it rich though... After that we all went horseback riding. It was so fun, and the scenery along the route they took us was just absolutely breathtaking! BUT! I'm never gonna go horseback riding ever again! My groin and butt area still hurts! After that we took the gondola up to the hill where we could play luge. It's so fun! We raced down the hill on our luge and I got 2nd place! We went back to our hotel after that to rest and watch 'Pirates of the Carribean: At World's End'.
Day 7 (Queenstown to Dunedin)
Well, we woke up the next morning and made our way to Dunedin, a place where there is very strong Scottish influence, in it's architecture, food what not. We didn't do much in Dunedin, more of city tour then activities. We then checked in to our hotel and had a 2 course western dinner in our hotel, then we went to their 24-hour convenience store to buy some snacks, then we went back to our rooms to enjoy our snacks and rest.
Day 8 (Dunedin to Christchurch)
We did some last minute shopping in Dunedin and almost ended up buying kilts! Well we left Dunedin at about 10-11am and made our way up north back to Christchurch. On the way back we stopped at Moeraki to take pictures of the Moeraki boulders. The beach was so cold, but my mum and I ended up picking up beautiful seashells! We then continued for another 2 hours from Moeraki to Christchurch. When we reached Christchurch at about 3:30pm, we went shopping and I got a new pair of shoes! We then checked into our hotel before going for Chinese dinner. After the dinner my family and I took the tram for sightseeing before going back to sleep.
Day 9 (Christchurch to Singapore)
We woke up the next morning ready to go home, I'll miss Pete, our coach captain. He's so much fun! Well in anycase we boarded the plane at about 2:15pm and started our 10 hour journey home.
Day 10 (Singapore)
Arrived in Singapore and went home. What else?!
Day 5 (Christchurch to Queenstown)
Well, as mentioned in my previous post, I went to Queenstown, the main tourist town of the area. On the way there we were supposed to go to Mt. Cook, the tallest mountain in NZ. But unfortunately, due to the weather we could not go up the mountain... We did a jetboat ride, Was a very fun thing to do, gets your adrenaline rushing! Well, anyway the journey from Christchurch to Queenstown took almost the whole day. By the time we reached our hotel in Queenstown, it was already dinner time. We had chinese dinner, and it wasn't bad, rather good even. Afterwich, my family and I went shopping for movie memrobillia. So my mum got lotsa stuff, and I didn't get any Star Wars posters for myself... So in any case we went back to our hotel at around 8-9 pm, then we watched 'The Last King of Scotland' and drank kiwi fruit liquer, ate some kiwi fruit shortbread, chocolate, nuts, whatnot. We enjoyed ourselves.
Day 6 (Queenstown)
So, it was a free day for us so we did alot of optional tours, First thing on or list was to do Nomad Safaris Lord of the Rings tour. They showed us the place where they filmed the Lord of the Rings, and at the same time gave us a chance to pan for GOLD! I didn't strike it rich though... After that we all went horseback riding. It was so fun, and the scenery along the route they took us was just absolutely breathtaking! BUT! I'm never gonna go horseback riding ever again! My groin and butt area still hurts! After that we took the gondola up to the hill where we could play luge. It's so fun! We raced down the hill on our luge and I got 2nd place! We went back to our hotel after that to rest and watch 'Pirates of the Carribean: At World's End'.
Day 7 (Queenstown to Dunedin)
Well, we woke up the next morning and made our way to Dunedin, a place where there is very strong Scottish influence, in it's architecture, food what not. We didn't do much in Dunedin, more of city tour then activities. We then checked in to our hotel and had a 2 course western dinner in our hotel, then we went to their 24-hour convenience store to buy some snacks, then we went back to our rooms to enjoy our snacks and rest.
Day 8 (Dunedin to Christchurch)
We did some last minute shopping in Dunedin and almost ended up buying kilts! Well we left Dunedin at about 10-11am and made our way up north back to Christchurch. On the way back we stopped at Moeraki to take pictures of the Moeraki boulders. The beach was so cold, but my mum and I ended up picking up beautiful seashells! We then continued for another 2 hours from Moeraki to Christchurch. When we reached Christchurch at about 3:30pm, we went shopping and I got a new pair of shoes! We then checked into our hotel before going for Chinese dinner. After the dinner my family and I took the tram for sightseeing before going back to sleep.
Day 9 (Christchurch to Singapore)
We woke up the next morning ready to go home, I'll miss Pete, our coach captain. He's so much fun! Well in anycase we boarded the plane at about 2:15pm and started our 10 hour journey home.
Day 10 (Singapore)
Arrived in Singapore and went home. What else?!
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Coming in from Christchurch
Hey guys! If you're reading this I just want you to know that I miss y'all very very much!
So anyways, like I promised I would blog if I get the chance, so now I'm gonna give you the details of the past 4 days in New Zealand.
Day 1 (Auckland to Rotorua)
So firstly, wanna thank all those who dropped me messages and came to see me off. Really much appreciated. So I left Singapore at about 9.30pm, 30 minutes behind schedule. So it was a 10 hour flight, rather boring, not much to do. Anyways I watched The Dark Knight, Hellboy 2, House M.D. and read some books. Whilst in the air I caught a revelation from God. It may not be much to some, but to me it means so much. Anywho, we touched down in Auckland, New Zealand (North), at around 11am. The weather is friggin' cold, and mind you the season right now is summer! Winds are blowing like never before, tempreatures hovering around 16-20 degrees. So we did some sight seeing on the bus while on the way to see some geysers and mud pools, The place is called 'Te Whakarewarra...... Something, something, something... It's too long to remember... The word is actually the 3rd longest word in new Zealand, consisting of 37 letters. The longest word consists of 87 letters, and it's a person's name... It'll be a mouthful just to call him... Anyways, while at this place, we caught a glimpse of Maori (The indegineous people of NZ) culture, from it's trades to it's buildings. The geysers were amazing, the mud pool, not so... All in all we had a great first day. We then proceeded to check in to our hotel called Sudima Hotel. It's a rather quaint place, more of a motel if y'ask me. There was computer and internet connection there, but costs $2 for 15 mins. Here in the current hotel it's only 3$ for 1/2 an hour.
Day 2 (Rotorua)
Woke up at 5.30am, and it's already bright like it's 7am... Anyways we took a 5 min bus ride to a place where we had a champagne breakfast! We took a cablecar up to the mountain and then walked to the restaurant, the restaurant boasted a 360 degree view of Rotorua, which was the town we were staying at. The food was great, but the champagne was excellent! It was sweet, bubbly and very, very summer! After breakfast, at the same place, we went to ride the luge. Unfortunately for us, the intermediate and advanced course was closed, so we could only take the slower, scenic route, it was fun anyways, and I got some photos to show ya when I get back. After the luge, we proceeded to the Agrodome, a place where they rear and shear sheeps. Thoroughly enjoyed the show, as before, many pictures to show. After that we proceeded to the Kiwi 360, a Kiwi(the people) orchard where they raise kiwis! We got a tour of the compound and bought a bottle of kiwi wine, it's light and easy to drink, good for begginers. After that we proceeded back to Sudima Hotel for a traditional Hangi dinner. I'm gonna teach you some words now, so don't be puzzled when I use them back home.
Kia Ora --> Hello
Car-pai --> Good
Haere Mai --> Come here
Haere Rah --> Go there, or Good bye
Poo-kah-na --> Used to describe the bulging of the eye, protrusion of the tounge and the deep guttural noises produced from Maori warriors when they perform the Haka (Postural war dance)
All in all, dinner was great and I thoroughly enjoyed myself, after that we went to our rooms and went to sleep.
Day 3 (Rotorua to Auckland)
So we woke up at about 6am today, and for the love of Almighty God, it was raining! That brought the already cold weather down to 12 degrees! Oh well... In any case our first stop of the day was the Waitomo glow worm caves. I tell you it was beautiful, Whilst in the dark cave we could see thousands upon thousands of glow worms on the ceilings, and I thought to myself, "As many glow worms there are on the ceiling, as many my descendants shall be!" Unfortunately I don't have photos for you, because no photography was allowed... Oh well, anywho our next stop, which was 5 mins away, was the Angora Rabbit shearing shed. There they shear cute lil bunnies for their fur. I got a picture of it! After that stop it was a 2 hour journey back to Auckland from Rotorua. When we reached Auckland we went to Mt Eden, a dormant volcano, then stopped at a place to take picture of the Auckland harbour bridge before. After that we checked in to the Auckland SkyCity hotel where we spent one night before heading on to Christchurch.
Day 4 (Auckland to Christchurch)
We woke up at 7am in this morning to headon to the airpor to catch our 11am domestic flight to Christchurch (South). But unfortunately our flight was cancelled, we then spent 3 hours in the airport waiting for another flight at 2.10pm... Anywho, we reached Christchurch at about 3.30pm? I dunno... We then headed down to Cashmere mountain for breath taking scenery, then proceeded down to Cathedral Square to look at the cathedral, I wanted to take pictures, but a service was about to start, so I couldn't snap any pictures... Oh and I missed holy communion there by about 5 hours! In anycase we had a thai dinner afterwards and then checked in to Elms, a motel... Afterwhich I came down and started blogging. So tomorrow I'll be leaving Christchurch and heading down to Queenstown, then it'll be 5 more days before I see you again. Can't wait!
Much loves from me to y'all!
So anyways, like I promised I would blog if I get the chance, so now I'm gonna give you the details of the past 4 days in New Zealand.
Day 1 (Auckland to Rotorua)
So firstly, wanna thank all those who dropped me messages and came to see me off. Really much appreciated. So I left Singapore at about 9.30pm, 30 minutes behind schedule. So it was a 10 hour flight, rather boring, not much to do. Anyways I watched The Dark Knight, Hellboy 2, House M.D. and read some books. Whilst in the air I caught a revelation from God. It may not be much to some, but to me it means so much. Anywho, we touched down in Auckland, New Zealand (North), at around 11am. The weather is friggin' cold, and mind you the season right now is summer! Winds are blowing like never before, tempreatures hovering around 16-20 degrees. So we did some sight seeing on the bus while on the way to see some geysers and mud pools, The place is called 'Te Whakarewarra...... Something, something, something... It's too long to remember... The word is actually the 3rd longest word in new Zealand, consisting of 37 letters. The longest word consists of 87 letters, and it's a person's name... It'll be a mouthful just to call him... Anyways, while at this place, we caught a glimpse of Maori (The indegineous people of NZ) culture, from it's trades to it's buildings. The geysers were amazing, the mud pool, not so... All in all we had a great first day. We then proceeded to check in to our hotel called Sudima Hotel. It's a rather quaint place, more of a motel if y'ask me. There was computer and internet connection there, but costs $2 for 15 mins. Here in the current hotel it's only 3$ for 1/2 an hour.
Day 2 (Rotorua)
Woke up at 5.30am, and it's already bright like it's 7am... Anyways we took a 5 min bus ride to a place where we had a champagne breakfast! We took a cablecar up to the mountain and then walked to the restaurant, the restaurant boasted a 360 degree view of Rotorua, which was the town we were staying at. The food was great, but the champagne was excellent! It was sweet, bubbly and very, very summer! After breakfast, at the same place, we went to ride the luge. Unfortunately for us, the intermediate and advanced course was closed, so we could only take the slower, scenic route, it was fun anyways, and I got some photos to show ya when I get back. After the luge, we proceeded to the Agrodome, a place where they rear and shear sheeps. Thoroughly enjoyed the show, as before, many pictures to show. After that we proceeded to the Kiwi 360, a Kiwi(the people) orchard where they raise kiwis! We got a tour of the compound and bought a bottle of kiwi wine, it's light and easy to drink, good for begginers. After that we proceeded back to Sudima Hotel for a traditional Hangi dinner. I'm gonna teach you some words now, so don't be puzzled when I use them back home.
Kia Ora --> Hello
Car-pai --> Good
Haere Mai --> Come here
Haere Rah --> Go there, or Good bye
Poo-kah-na --> Used to describe the bulging of the eye, protrusion of the tounge and the deep guttural noises produced from Maori warriors when they perform the Haka (Postural war dance)
All in all, dinner was great and I thoroughly enjoyed myself, after that we went to our rooms and went to sleep.
Day 3 (Rotorua to Auckland)
So we woke up at about 6am today, and for the love of Almighty God, it was raining! That brought the already cold weather down to 12 degrees! Oh well... In any case our first stop of the day was the Waitomo glow worm caves. I tell you it was beautiful, Whilst in the dark cave we could see thousands upon thousands of glow worms on the ceilings, and I thought to myself, "As many glow worms there are on the ceiling, as many my descendants shall be!" Unfortunately I don't have photos for you, because no photography was allowed... Oh well, anywho our next stop, which was 5 mins away, was the Angora Rabbit shearing shed. There they shear cute lil bunnies for their fur. I got a picture of it! After that stop it was a 2 hour journey back to Auckland from Rotorua. When we reached Auckland we went to Mt Eden, a dormant volcano, then stopped at a place to take picture of the Auckland harbour bridge before. After that we checked in to the Auckland SkyCity hotel where we spent one night before heading on to Christchurch.
Day 4 (Auckland to Christchurch)
We woke up at 7am in this morning to headon to the airpor to catch our 11am domestic flight to Christchurch (South). But unfortunately our flight was cancelled, we then spent 3 hours in the airport waiting for another flight at 2.10pm... Anywho, we reached Christchurch at about 3.30pm? I dunno... We then headed down to Cashmere mountain for breath taking scenery, then proceeded down to Cathedral Square to look at the cathedral, I wanted to take pictures, but a service was about to start, so I couldn't snap any pictures... Oh and I missed holy communion there by about 5 hours! In anycase we had a thai dinner afterwards and then checked in to Elms, a motel... Afterwhich I came down and started blogging. So tomorrow I'll be leaving Christchurch and heading down to Queenstown, then it'll be 5 more days before I see you again. Can't wait!
Much loves from me to y'all!
Saturday, December 6, 2008
I'm leaving on a jet plane...
I'm leaving on a jet plane,
Don't know when I'll be back again. (Actually I do know!)
Well... I woke up from a rather disturbing dream, wasn't the most pleasant of dreams...
It's been awhile since I blogged, due to the fact that there isn't much to blog about.
I'll try my best to blog while I'm overseas if there is an internet cafe with good internet connection. If not you'll have to wait till I return to know more.
I have just posted up a rather old post, which I have decided not to post till now. Do read it if you're interested.
Don't know when I'll be back again. (Actually I do know!)
Well... I woke up from a rather disturbing dream, wasn't the most pleasant of dreams...
It's been awhile since I blogged, due to the fact that there isn't much to blog about.
I'll try my best to blog while I'm overseas if there is an internet cafe with good internet connection. If not you'll have to wait till I return to know more.
I have just posted up a rather old post, which I have decided not to post till now. Do read it if you're interested.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
(30/11/2008)
Going down to macritchie later.
Looking forward to the New Zealand trip. Things need to slow down a little...
Looking forward to the New Zealand trip. Things need to slow down a little...
Saturday, November 29, 2008
(29/11/2008)
If tomorrow is the end, what would you do?
I just seem to slip away from everything.
It's like trying to catch the moonlight.
The light of the moon just slips through my fingers.
The joy that I know
The pain that I feel
The feelings I've shown
My character ain't real
I just seem to slip away from everything.
It's like trying to catch the moonlight.
The light of the moon just slips through my fingers.
The joy that I know
The pain that I feel
The feelings I've shown
My character ain't real
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Asia Conference
It's been definitely more than 1 week since my last post...
Asia Conference... I just wasn't ready for it...
I missed out on Benny Hinn, Ps Christine Pringle... Well at least I didn't miss out on Rev. Dr. Ulf Ekman. Love his preaching.
Asia Conference... I just wasn't ready for it...
I missed out on Benny Hinn, Ps Christine Pringle... Well at least I didn't miss out on Rev. Dr. Ulf Ekman. Love his preaching.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Graduation Night
Well, I've just reached home from my graduation night. It was an okay time with friends, but it could've been better. Well, we showed some video clips, played bingo, win some prizes from lucky draw and ate food that was definitely not worth the $40 we paid. Somehow, I'm not really experiencing the euphoria of the moment...
But anyways, went shopping with Chennam for his clothes today, and saw Wei Yang outside Pizza Hut booking seats for lunch with his teacher. Quite suprised to see him... Anyways, at least he noticed my hair. Unfortunately, the photos I took during grad night doesn't show it...
I took pictures with some of my favouritest teachers, but my form teacher ran home before I could take a photo with her. Disappointing man...
I'm still pondering over certain questions, questions to which I, myself, can't answer...
But anyways, went shopping with Chennam for his clothes today, and saw Wei Yang outside Pizza Hut booking seats for lunch with his teacher. Quite suprised to see him... Anyways, at least he noticed my hair. Unfortunately, the photos I took during grad night doesn't show it...
I took pictures with some of my favouritest teachers, but my form teacher ran home before I could take a photo with her. Disappointing man...
I'm still pondering over certain questions, questions to which I, myself, can't answer...
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
(12/11/2008)
It's been a week or more since I blogged already... Well, I finish my 'O' Levels today.
I've been thinking about quite a few stuff since Sunday.
About myself, about members, about friends...
It's too many things to think of, but still my mind processes each and every one.
Gonna get a new haircut today, maybe even dye it... Well, I'll decide later. May not even dye my hair...
Thanks to Kel and Cynthia for coming over to fellowship last night.
I've been thinking about quite a few stuff since Sunday.
About myself, about members, about friends...
It's too many things to think of, but still my mind processes each and every one.
Gonna get a new haircut today, maybe even dye it... Well, I'll decide later. May not even dye my hair...
Thanks to Kel and Cynthia for coming over to fellowship last night.
Monday, November 3, 2008
An EXTRAordinary day!
Whoo... I need a breather from an incredible God planned day yesterday... Gimme a mo'.
Aight' so let's start with morning till night yeah?
Morning...
My cousin Ryan stayed over at my place and we just played Spore on my computer the whole time he was here. He's hooked on it I think. Anyways, my mum and dad, Belle, ryan and myself went to IMM to have breakfast. Great time of fellowship with my family. Afterwich, my mum, belle and I went shopping while Ryan talks to my dad about earning passive income etc, etc... (Talk about early planning...) So we bought a whole stack of DVDs, and I couldn't get a Star Wars game that I wanted... *sniff sniff*
Went home after getting the DVDs and watched 1408. Great movie at the start, really frightens you without having to see the ghost or what not. Ending wasn't as nice and left me really disappointed... By then it was already 1:45pm and I was getting ready to go for CG (So early ah?! See the next part for more details.)
Afternoon (CG!)...
So I started to get ready for CG at Jessica's house, not realizing that the place had been changed to Cynthia's house. (No one's fault but my own...) So I just took the train all the way to Orchard, took out my handphone to confirm the meeting time and place, and lo and behold. Meeting at Cynthia's house... By then it was already 3:00pm, so I rushed down to Yew Tee on the red line. It was sheer torture... The journey was too long...
I prayed to God saying, "Don't let me be late, cause I wanna seek Your face. I know that I will reach on time, because You are a God who can and will let me reach on time." By the time I reached AMK station, the rain was falling like nobody's business. So I prayed again, "Lord let the rain stop by the time I reach Yew Tee." By the tim I reached Marsiling station, the time was 3:33pm and the rain had stopped. I was late for CG already and was feeling a little anxious, but God spoke to me and said, "Don't be anxious, for this is the day that I have made, be glad and rejoice in it!" And I knew that I knew that I knew, everything's gonna be alright. The journey from Kranji to Yew Tee has got to be the longest ride ever... Anywho, I reached Cynthia's place at 3:45pm, and thank God, CG hasn't started!
CG meeting (Favouritest part of the day!)...
I had a wonderful time worshipping Abba Father... Truly, I live to worship You. Cynthia shared a great message. Time flies when you're having fun. By then it was already what? 6+ going to 7? I ain't really sure. But after CG we hung around for a while at Cynthia's place before going over to Yew Tee shopping center for dinner. Afterwich some of us decided to go home. But I felt a prompting in my heart to decide otherwise though it may cause my parents to get angry at me... But I knew that it would be the right choice...
Night (2nd most favouritest part of the day)...
I helped carry Kelvin's guitar intending to see both Kelvin and Cynthia off, but in the end I decided to follow them down town. I enjoy just being around my leaders. They are really great people! I enjoy fellowshipping with'em. Kelvin and I got off at Far East Plaza, while waiting for Cynthia to do her work. So Kel and I just hung out at Far East, and we just talked. From how I wanted to be a pastor when I was in sec 1, because I heard from my dad that our senor pastor earns $50,000 a month, to talking about stuff at home and what not. When Cynthia was done with her work she met up with us at Far East, then Kelvin decide to treat us to Turkish ice cream. Boy, was I in for a treat in more ways than one. I ain't gonna tell you waht happens, spoils the fun the next time I bring new friends there, but you'll definitely be in for a treat. (By the way the ice cream is made from goat's milk.) I took vanilla and Cynthia chose pistachio. I enjoyed my cone alot. :)
This blog entry has gone on for so long already, the longest in my blogging history, and I wanna go study my SS somemore since I got time... So to cut it short, I had fun with my 2 leaders and the CG. It's really a God planned day. I got home at 10:30pm expecting my mum to 'whack' me, verbally. But God turns what he meant for evil to something good for those who are called children of God. So I studied for my SS expecting to get up at 7am for a paper at 8am. Only to realize now, that the paper is at 2:00pm. I'm never ever gonna make stupid mistakes like that anymore...
All in all, it's definitely one of the most memorable days of my 16 years of living.
Oh, by the way, it's great to see you in church and CG again Lokies!
Thanks to Kelvin and Cynthia, remarkable leaders and friends. Thanks for the taxi ride to and fro and for the treats, and the time of fellowship.
Most importantly, wanna thank my Abba Father for making yesterday a EXTRAordinary day. All my love I give to You!
I am persuaded that nothing, no anels nor demons, height nor depth, things of this age nor things to come, powers nor principalities can ever seperate me from the love of Christ Jesus!
Aight' so let's start with morning till night yeah?
Morning...
My cousin Ryan stayed over at my place and we just played Spore on my computer the whole time he was here. He's hooked on it I think. Anyways, my mum and dad, Belle, ryan and myself went to IMM to have breakfast. Great time of fellowship with my family. Afterwich, my mum, belle and I went shopping while Ryan talks to my dad about earning passive income etc, etc... (Talk about early planning...) So we bought a whole stack of DVDs, and I couldn't get a Star Wars game that I wanted... *sniff sniff*
Went home after getting the DVDs and watched 1408. Great movie at the start, really frightens you without having to see the ghost or what not. Ending wasn't as nice and left me really disappointed... By then it was already 1:45pm and I was getting ready to go for CG (So early ah?! See the next part for more details.)
Afternoon (CG!)...
So I started to get ready for CG at Jessica's house, not realizing that the place had been changed to Cynthia's house. (No one's fault but my own...) So I just took the train all the way to Orchard, took out my handphone to confirm the meeting time and place, and lo and behold. Meeting at Cynthia's house... By then it was already 3:00pm, so I rushed down to Yew Tee on the red line. It was sheer torture... The journey was too long...
I prayed to God saying, "Don't let me be late, cause I wanna seek Your face. I know that I will reach on time, because You are a God who can and will let me reach on time." By the time I reached AMK station, the rain was falling like nobody's business. So I prayed again, "Lord let the rain stop by the time I reach Yew Tee." By the tim I reached Marsiling station, the time was 3:33pm and the rain had stopped. I was late for CG already and was feeling a little anxious, but God spoke to me and said, "Don't be anxious, for this is the day that I have made, be glad and rejoice in it!" And I knew that I knew that I knew, everything's gonna be alright. The journey from Kranji to Yew Tee has got to be the longest ride ever... Anywho, I reached Cynthia's place at 3:45pm, and thank God, CG hasn't started!
CG meeting (Favouritest part of the day!)...
I had a wonderful time worshipping Abba Father... Truly, I live to worship You. Cynthia shared a great message. Time flies when you're having fun. By then it was already what? 6+ going to 7? I ain't really sure. But after CG we hung around for a while at Cynthia's place before going over to Yew Tee shopping center for dinner. Afterwich some of us decided to go home. But I felt a prompting in my heart to decide otherwise though it may cause my parents to get angry at me... But I knew that it would be the right choice...
Night (2nd most favouritest part of the day)...
I helped carry Kelvin's guitar intending to see both Kelvin and Cynthia off, but in the end I decided to follow them down town. I enjoy just being around my leaders. They are really great people! I enjoy fellowshipping with'em. Kelvin and I got off at Far East Plaza, while waiting for Cynthia to do her work. So Kel and I just hung out at Far East, and we just talked. From how I wanted to be a pastor when I was in sec 1, because I heard from my dad that our senor pastor earns $50,000 a month, to talking about stuff at home and what not. When Cynthia was done with her work she met up with us at Far East, then Kelvin decide to treat us to Turkish ice cream. Boy, was I in for a treat in more ways than one. I ain't gonna tell you waht happens, spoils the fun the next time I bring new friends there, but you'll definitely be in for a treat. (By the way the ice cream is made from goat's milk.) I took vanilla and Cynthia chose pistachio. I enjoyed my cone alot. :)
This blog entry has gone on for so long already, the longest in my blogging history, and I wanna go study my SS somemore since I got time... So to cut it short, I had fun with my 2 leaders and the CG. It's really a God planned day. I got home at 10:30pm expecting my mum to 'whack' me, verbally. But God turns what he meant for evil to something good for those who are called children of God. So I studied for my SS expecting to get up at 7am for a paper at 8am. Only to realize now, that the paper is at 2:00pm. I'm never ever gonna make stupid mistakes like that anymore...
All in all, it's definitely one of the most memorable days of my 16 years of living.
Oh, by the way, it's great to see you in church and CG again Lokies!
Thanks to Kelvin and Cynthia, remarkable leaders and friends. Thanks for the taxi ride to and fro and for the treats, and the time of fellowship.
Most importantly, wanna thank my Abba Father for making yesterday a EXTRAordinary day. All my love I give to You!
I am persuaded that nothing, no anels nor demons, height nor depth, things of this age nor things to come, powers nor principalities can ever seperate me from the love of Christ Jesus!
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Turning Point
So, I went out to Suntec to study with Kel yesterday at Starbucks. Starbucks ain't such a bad place, really. It's quiet and they got a really good practice of shouting back their orders just to confirm that they heard right. But I still prefer Coffee Bean to Starbucks. If only we could combine the quietness and the culture of Starbucks with the good coffee and food of Coffee Bean. That is my idea of a perfect cafe. Maybe my future carrer will be to run such an outlet...
Cynthia joined us to at Starbucks too, then we proceeded to an unknown chicken rice stall for dinner. I wouldn't call the food extremely good, but I wouldn't say it tastes really bad as well. I think it's just normal. But I like the variety. Definitely more choices than your average chicken rice stall.
On the way back home, Kel and I just talked about really, really cool stuff. Like authoritarian regimes, the Vietnam War, WWII, the monarchy in England and how it has changed, and some really random stuff about nationalities. (e.g: If I'm born in UK, my nationality will be British, Born in Ireland, nationality will be Irish.) Well we stopped at Ireland, for a moment I though Kel was gonna ask me about Scotland. Cynthia, I apologize if I monopolized Kel yesterday...
It was a really great time of fellowship. I went from super depressed after my History paper to not so depressed and even forgetting about my troubles for a while.
I don't wanna be hypocritical anymore. It's really been a heartbreaking two weeks for me. I never thought that I would be bitter towards anyone and especially not to God. But then again I was. I now know so many things.
I am persuaded that no angels nor demons, principalities nor powers, no height nor depth can seperate me from the love of Christ. For I have not been given a spirit of bondage again to fear, but a spirit of love and adoption by whom I cry out "Abba Father".
Cynthia joined us to at Starbucks too, then we proceeded to an unknown chicken rice stall for dinner. I wouldn't call the food extremely good, but I wouldn't say it tastes really bad as well. I think it's just normal. But I like the variety. Definitely more choices than your average chicken rice stall.
On the way back home, Kel and I just talked about really, really cool stuff. Like authoritarian regimes, the Vietnam War, WWII, the monarchy in England and how it has changed, and some really random stuff about nationalities. (e.g: If I'm born in UK, my nationality will be British, Born in Ireland, nationality will be Irish.) Well we stopped at Ireland, for a moment I though Kel was gonna ask me about Scotland. Cynthia, I apologize if I monopolized Kel yesterday...
It was a really great time of fellowship. I went from super depressed after my History paper to not so depressed and even forgetting about my troubles for a while.
I don't wanna be hypocritical anymore. It's really been a heartbreaking two weeks for me. I never thought that I would be bitter towards anyone and especially not to God. But then again I was. I now know so many things.
I am persuaded that no angels nor demons, principalities nor powers, no height nor depth can seperate me from the love of Christ. For I have not been given a spirit of bondage again to fear, but a spirit of love and adoption by whom I cry out "Abba Father".
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
(29/10/2008)
The fear of taking back what I said is so very real now.
The song says, "Where would I be without You here in my life?"
I've no answer to that.
I've never felt so dry and so barren before.
All that I've done for the past 2 weeks has been hypocritical.
It just isn't fair to me...
I wish what I shared for testimony would come to pass.
Unfortunately, it ain't so.
It's been too long.
I guess, from what I've heard from others much younger than me, that I'm not the favoured one.
Another promise, among many more, which has failed to come to pass.
I've read some blogs of interest.
I'm a coward.
I suppose this is what someone once called, sifting.
Tis' the season of sifting out those who are committed and those who aren't.
Friends truly indeed are seasonal.
Going for my History paper today.
The song says, "Where would I be without You here in my life?"
I've no answer to that.
I've never felt so dry and so barren before.
All that I've done for the past 2 weeks has been hypocritical.
It just isn't fair to me...
I wish what I shared for testimony would come to pass.
Unfortunately, it ain't so.
It's been too long.
I guess, from what I've heard from others much younger than me, that I'm not the favoured one.
Another promise, among many more, which has failed to come to pass.
I've read some blogs of interest.
I'm a coward.
I suppose this is what someone once called, sifting.
Tis' the season of sifting out those who are committed and those who aren't.
Friends truly indeed are seasonal.
Going for my History paper today.
Monday, October 27, 2008
(17/10/2008)
Right, so I went for yesterday's outreach. It was great to see so many new faces and it was a good time of fellowship with a member.
T'was a hard night for me.
I can't bring myself to believe that God is real.
It's just so unfair.
T'was a hard night for me.
I can't bring myself to believe that God is real.
It's just so unfair.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Saturday, October 25, 2008
(25/10/2008)
A cancerous cell is essentially a cell gone rogue. It must be removed promptly, lest it becomes malignant and spreads to other parts of the body causing it to shut down and die.
Mr. Virtueless
Mr. Cellophane
Mr. Virtueless
Mr. Cellophane
(25/10/2008)
Well, I think I did rather well for my 'O' Level maths paper 1. All that's left is maths paper 2 and physics. These are the papers which worry me...
Friday, October 24, 2008
(24/10/2008)
I'm going for my maths paper 1 now.
When I stand before the King, what will I say?
Will I even be before Him?
The memories of old come back to haunt my dreams. Bringing me to a perverted fantasy of my own creation.
For whatever reason I do not know, but perhaps I shouldn't be created.
I'd not have known Him, and I wouldn;t have to face the many things that I face today.
I've never truly knew a love such as this.
I can't even love myself.
When I stand before the King, what will I say?
Will I even be before Him?
The memories of old come back to haunt my dreams. Bringing me to a perverted fantasy of my own creation.
For whatever reason I do not know, but perhaps I shouldn't be created.
I'd not have known Him, and I wouldn;t have to face the many things that I face today.
I've never truly knew a love such as this.
I can't even love myself.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
(23/10/2008)
Friday's my maths paper 1. I'm not ready...
I wonder about the realness of God... It's kinda hard to beleive that He's here with me always...
I wonder about the realness of God... It's kinda hard to beleive that He's here with me always...
Monday, October 20, 2008
(20/10/2008)
I just got back from a rather nerve wrecking 'O' Level paper. But I'll choose to trust in my God than hear what the world has to say. I'll Think, Hear, Visiualize and Speak good thoughts.
Jesus SHOW me, I'm waiting on You.
Please pray for me guys, I'm having my english paper 1 and paper 2 tomorrow.
Jesus SHOW me, I'm waiting on You.
Please pray for me guys, I'm having my english paper 1 and paper 2 tomorrow.
(20/10/2008)
It's time for my 'O' Level to officially start. Chem paper today, and I'm really looking forward to it.
I need a new phone...
I need a new phone...
Saturday, October 18, 2008
(18/10/2008)
It's been too long.
Too long have we been apart.
Is it me, is it You?
No warm nights, no bright days.
No more hugs, no kisses.
No more songs of love.
How long should I wait?
A day, week, month, year?
Should I wait for eternity?
Silently I grieve.
In my heart I weep.
My body dies
I think daily of You.
The moments we've shared.
But now, tis' all but naught.
Too long have we been apart.
Is it me, is it You?
No warm nights, no bright days.
No more hugs, no kisses.
No more songs of love.
How long should I wait?
A day, week, month, year?
Should I wait for eternity?
Silently I grieve.
In my heart I weep.
My body dies
I think daily of You.
The moments we've shared.
But now, tis' all but naught.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
'O' Level Science Practical (16/10/2008)
So, I had my 'O' Level science practical today. Was tough, but I could do it! Haha! Physics was too easy, they even drew the graph and gave us the table to record our results. Too easy. For chemistry though, it was a little tougher than What we had been trained for. It was done in a way which we have never been taught to do, so alot of confused faces today. But by the grace of God I managed to complete it without much difficulities. I lift my paper in to Your hands.
Jesus SHOW me.
Jesus SHOW me.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
(15/10/2008)
Tomorrow's the day... Tomorrow I'll be having my 'O' Level science practical... Kinda glad that it's starting earlier this year. I can finsh it quick and forget about it.
*sigh* Choosing courses for my tertiary education is way harder than selecting a secondary school... I mean there's too many courses that I like, but I'm seeking for something that will let me pursue my future.
Jesus, SHOW me.
Right now, these are the courses that I have shorlisted.
Clean Energy
Baking and culinary sciences
Food and nutririon (Specialising in Nutrition)
Nursing
SHATEC (is still on the table)
MI (also on the table)
Jesus, SHOW me.
*sigh* Choosing courses for my tertiary education is way harder than selecting a secondary school... I mean there's too many courses that I like, but I'm seeking for something that will let me pursue my future.
Jesus, SHOW me.
Right now, these are the courses that I have shorlisted.
Clean Energy
Baking and culinary sciences
Food and nutririon (Specialising in Nutrition)
Nursing
SHATEC (is still on the table)
MI (also on the table)
Jesus, SHOW me.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
(14/10/2008)
I went to school today, what a waste of time. All my teachers were either absent or not teaching. Totally wasted my time. But, hey, it's okay. At least I know that some of my teachers care alot for me.
2 days to 'O' Levels. My future depends on it. Or at least that's what the world wants me to think. My future is secure in Jesus.
I spent some time a few weeks back talking to the Holy Spirit.
Me: Holy Spirit?
Holy Spirit: Yes, my friend?
Me: You've called me for greater things right? Will that depend on my 'O' Levels?
Holy Spirit: Even if you didn't do well for your 'O's I will still use you. Eyes have not seen, nor ears heard, what I will do in your life.
Me: Can I trust You?
Holy Spirit: Will you?
My future is secure in Christ Jesus, everyday brings me closer to a major milestone in my life. It's the 2nd day of my 40 day fast. I'm excited about what's gonna happen in my life.
2 days to 'O' Levels. My future depends on it. Or at least that's what the world wants me to think. My future is secure in Jesus.
I spent some time a few weeks back talking to the Holy Spirit.
Me: Holy Spirit?
Holy Spirit: Yes, my friend?
Me: You've called me for greater things right? Will that depend on my 'O' Levels?
Holy Spirit: Even if you didn't do well for your 'O's I will still use you. Eyes have not seen, nor ears heard, what I will do in your life.
Me: Can I trust You?
Holy Spirit: Will you?
My future is secure in Christ Jesus, everyday brings me closer to a major milestone in my life. It's the 2nd day of my 40 day fast. I'm excited about what's gonna happen in my life.
Monday, October 13, 2008
(13/10/2008)
I spent the night writing this story, followed by a night's rest with Kino.
Once, a man committed a crime. He was brought beofre the emperor. The emperor knew the gravity of the situation and, by law, should have sentenced him to death. The emperor without a second thought immediately pardoned the man, not only for this crim, but all else he had committed. The man left the castle with tears in his eyes, and joy in his heart.
The emperor's councillors were puzzled at his decision and consulted the emperor, "Why, my liege, did you pardon the man? He has committed a grave crime and should be punished."
The emperor simply replied, "The man has committed a crime, no doubt. But I love my subjects as a father. Would not a father pardon his son when he has wronged? Would a father condemn his son if he has erred? I would think not."
The councillors, not satisfied with his reply continued to speak amongst themselves, and then came back to the emperor, "But sire, wouldst not the man err again and yet again? Wouldst he not take the opportunity to continue this life of crime and sin?"
The emperor smiled and said, "If I took his life, would I not have robbed him of his chance of redemption? If I took his life would not I have sinned, though the blade not fall by my hand? And who am I that I should not forgive him when He above, has forgiven me my many sins? Because I love him, I have forgiven the man. Now leave this matter and never bring it up again."
-Power is when we have every justification to kill, but choose not to.
3 days to 'O' Levels.
Once, a man committed a crime. He was brought beofre the emperor. The emperor knew the gravity of the situation and, by law, should have sentenced him to death. The emperor without a second thought immediately pardoned the man, not only for this crim, but all else he had committed. The man left the castle with tears in his eyes, and joy in his heart.
The emperor's councillors were puzzled at his decision and consulted the emperor, "Why, my liege, did you pardon the man? He has committed a grave crime and should be punished."
The emperor simply replied, "The man has committed a crime, no doubt. But I love my subjects as a father. Would not a father pardon his son when he has wronged? Would a father condemn his son if he has erred? I would think not."
The councillors, not satisfied with his reply continued to speak amongst themselves, and then came back to the emperor, "But sire, wouldst not the man err again and yet again? Wouldst he not take the opportunity to continue this life of crime and sin?"
The emperor smiled and said, "If I took his life, would I not have robbed him of his chance of redemption? If I took his life would not I have sinned, though the blade not fall by my hand? And who am I that I should not forgive him when He above, has forgiven me my many sins? Because I love him, I have forgiven the man. Now leave this matter and never bring it up again."
-Power is when we have every justification to kill, but choose not to.
3 days to 'O' Levels.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
(11/10/2008)
Amazingly, I just woke up... Never again. Cell Group last night was awesome. It's been a long time since I felt so light hearted about the whole thing. Message was very short, but it also spoke to my soul. Right now I would say I'm going through the priority test, but I'm coping well with Jesus at my side.
I believe that great things are gonna happen, and not only me, but Cynthia does too. It is a time when the Holy Spirit is moving in our lives. I'm really looking forward to service today.
Thank God for strength to leave this burden behind. Never thoguht I could do it, but I guess I'm wrong.
In 6 days time, 'O' Levels are gonna start. I'm apprehensive about the whole thing, but on the other hand I thank God that it is also one day closer to the end of 'O's
I believe that great things are gonna happen, and not only me, but Cynthia does too. It is a time when the Holy Spirit is moving in our lives. I'm really looking forward to service today.
Thank God for strength to leave this burden behind. Never thoguht I could do it, but I guess I'm wrong.
In 6 days time, 'O' Levels are gonna start. I'm apprehensive about the whole thing, but on the other hand I thank God that it is also one day closer to the end of 'O's
Thursday, October 9, 2008
(9/10/2008)
In exactly 1 week's time I'll be sitting for my 'O' Levels. I'm still a little apprehensive about my future, but I know I can trust in my God.
Curse my flesh.
Curse my flesh.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Bess
I grieve, yet dare not show my discontent;
I love, and yet am forced to hate, I dote but dare not what I meant;
I seem stark mute, yet inwardly do prate.
I am and am not; freeze and yet I burn,
Since from myself and my other self I turn.
My care is like the shadow in the sun,
Follows me flying, flies when I pursue it.
Sounds and lives by me, does what I have done.
O let me live with more sweet content
Or die and so forget what love e'er meant.
-Elizabeth I, Queen of England (1533-1603)
I love, and yet am forced to hate, I dote but dare not what I meant;
I seem stark mute, yet inwardly do prate.
I am and am not; freeze and yet I burn,
Since from myself and my other self I turn.
My care is like the shadow in the sun,
Follows me flying, flies when I pursue it.
Sounds and lives by me, does what I have done.
O let me live with more sweet content
Or die and so forget what love e'er meant.
-Elizabeth I, Queen of England (1533-1603)
Monday, September 29, 2008
(29/9/2008)
I've got alot of mixed feelings right now. Directed to whom I ain't exactly clear. I do know one thing though, and that is,
I'd rather not have known you at all.
I'd rather not have known you at all.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
(24/9/2008)
Well I made it through the first half of the week. It's Wednesday! And it's gonna be friday soon. We're also having our WYZ youth cell group meeting then. I'm excited and can't wait. It about 22 days left to 'O' Levels and 59 days to the end of 'O' Levels... It's such a long time. It's basically 12 days of exam stretched into 2 months... *sigh* But after that I'm done with it and will be moving on to a new phase of life. I'm kinda jittery at the thought of it. Cuz after that it'll be about 2-3 years before I get enlisted into NS. Time really flies...
Friday, September 19, 2008
(20/9/2008)
Well... From my previous post I guess you guys know that I didn't do very well. But thank God that my teacher praised me for something.
Ms Chin: Okay this question is God sent for those geography students. You all hor should be very good with this. Even Ayron got better answers than me.
Marcus Cheng: Ms Chin, Ayron is history student.
Ms Chin: Is it? I nearly wanted to tell your geography teacher how well he did. So all those geography students who don't get full marks should be ashamed!
Haha! It's nice to hear comments like that from my chemistry teacher.
Unfortunately, I've also disappointed my math teacher...
Mr Chew: Ayron, this paper hor, utter disappointment...
*sigh* I never thought that I would disappoint him. But it also shows that he has high hopes for me. So does my english teacher and my chemistry teacher... Now they're all asking me for A1...
Ms Chin: Okay this question is God sent for those geography students. You all hor should be very good with this. Even Ayron got better answers than me.
Marcus Cheng: Ms Chin, Ayron is history student.
Ms Chin: Is it? I nearly wanted to tell your geography teacher how well he did. So all those geography students who don't get full marks should be ashamed!
Haha! It's nice to hear comments like that from my chemistry teacher.
Unfortunately, I've also disappointed my math teacher...
Mr Chew: Ayron, this paper hor, utter disappointment...
*sigh* I never thought that I would disappoint him. But it also shows that he has high hopes for me. So does my english teacher and my chemistry teacher... Now they're all asking me for A1...
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
(16/9/2008)
A fantastic meeting with Mr. Jimmy Yim and Pastor Kong last night. A great time of sharing and I got to see Pastor Kong in a different light.
Mr. Jimmy Yim is our church's legal advisor and the defense lawyer of the Novena church trial. He shared a few details that the newspaper did not report and I got to see, in a way, the way a trial runs. Not easy. But what he said in the end is very true.
In this time and age, you cannot play the good Samaritan, without being prudent.
-Mr. Jimmy Yim
We then had a 15 minutes break, afterwich Pastor Kong came and shared with us his burden for the church. He showed us an hour long video on a tour of New Life church in Taiwan, headed by Pastor Abraham.
A few things that really impacted me as I watched this video
-All the members of New Life church play an active part.
-They have limited resources, but they are doing so much more.
-The members are very creative, using every bit of opportunity to evangelise.
-The members really love their pastor.
-They learnt everything from City Harvest Church.
Pastor was just sharing that why is it that New Life church is experiencing exponential growth, and we are struggling with 8%-15% growth. Pastor, I'll be a son of the house.
Mr. Jimmy Yim is our church's legal advisor and the defense lawyer of the Novena church trial. He shared a few details that the newspaper did not report and I got to see, in a way, the way a trial runs. Not easy. But what he said in the end is very true.
In this time and age, you cannot play the good Samaritan, without being prudent.
-Mr. Jimmy Yim
We then had a 15 minutes break, afterwich Pastor Kong came and shared with us his burden for the church. He showed us an hour long video on a tour of New Life church in Taiwan, headed by Pastor Abraham.
A few things that really impacted me as I watched this video
-All the members of New Life church play an active part.
-They have limited resources, but they are doing so much more.
-The members are very creative, using every bit of opportunity to evangelise.
-The members really love their pastor.
-They learnt everything from City Harvest Church.
Pastor was just sharing that why is it that New Life church is experiencing exponential growth, and we are struggling with 8%-15% growth. Pastor, I'll be a son of the house.
Monday, September 15, 2008
A love that stands
There's not much to say or do right now. What's happened has happened. BUT, why has it come down to this?
I asked myself last night, "Why did I come to church?"
Ans: My own 'personal' reasons.
But from that it grew into a genuine love for God. A love that today still is here.
Through all that has happened, He stood by me. Never forsaking. I have come to the point of realizing that, when I am down or I don't feel the presence of God, it is not He who has forsaken, but I.
I wanna thank God for His faithfulness, that's why I sing, "Great is Your faithfulness!"
I wanna thank God for blessing upon blessing He has poured over my life.
But,
I wanna thank God, in advance, for the impending breakthrough in my life.
I asked myself last night, "Why did I come to church?"
Ans: My own 'personal' reasons.
But from that it grew into a genuine love for God. A love that today still is here.
Through all that has happened, He stood by me. Never forsaking. I have come to the point of realizing that, when I am down or I don't feel the presence of God, it is not He who has forsaken, but I.
I wanna thank God for His faithfulness, that's why I sing, "Great is Your faithfulness!"
I wanna thank God for blessing upon blessing He has poured over my life.
But,
I wanna thank God, in advance, for the impending breakthrough in my life.
Sunday, September 14, 2008
(14/9/2008)
In 1 month's time my 'O' levels will take place, and yet my future seems uncertain. True I have Jesus with me. But what do You want with me? Where to next? Back to port or the wide open sea? I'd love to travel the seven seas, marvelling at it's opulent grandeur. And yet it seems I'm restricted. I'm tired of all this and wish it'd all go away, but since this can't be so, I shan't think like that.
I'm tired of so many things, but I'll be tenacious and hang on.
I'm tired of so many things, but I'll be tenacious and hang on.
Friday, September 12, 2008
(12/9/2008)
Praise the Lord! I've finished my last paper for my prelims! I'm so ecstatic! Now all that's standing between me and freedom is 'O' levels. It's gonna be soon, and I'll be ready for it. So far no nasty comments. So I can only surmise that James is a coward.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
(11/9/2008)
Dear friends,
Thank you for standing up for me, but please don't get involved. With so many things happening already, I just don't want you guys to get involved and become a target yourself. I really appreciate you guys standing up for me, and I love y'all.
I am with all my love, yours sincerely, Ayron.
To: James
From: Ayron
Dear sir/madam/alien,
I have told you before, but I feel compelled to inform you again. Against people, such as you, I will not hesitate to take legal action. If I ever see anyone who comes about harrasing, sexually and otherwise, and threatening, I will make sure justice prevails. I will do all I can to take it to the highest authority. Don't ever let me see such things happening either to my family, friends and myself.
Yours faithfully.
Thank you for standing up for me, but please don't get involved. With so many things happening already, I just don't want you guys to get involved and become a target yourself. I really appreciate you guys standing up for me, and I love y'all.
I am with all my love, yours sincerely, Ayron.
To: James
From: Ayron
Dear sir/madam/alien,
I have told you before, but I feel compelled to inform you again. Against people, such as you, I will not hesitate to take legal action. If I ever see anyone who comes about harrasing, sexually and otherwise, and threatening, I will make sure justice prevails. I will do all I can to take it to the highest authority. Don't ever let me see such things happening either to my family, friends and myself.
Yours faithfully.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
(10/9/2008)
My blog apparently is visited not only by those who know it, but also those whom I haven't met. Strange, yet it doesn't matter. James, your vocabulary is appalingly limited. Might I suggest you read a dictionary whenever you're free. Oh, you must definitely be a stalker. At least I know now. Let me just say that people like you are cowards, stupid and just plain lame. Don't waste your time like that. Go do something creative, like looking for your aliens or something.
James, I don't know who you are and all, but please, do not think for a moment you can intimidate me or any of my friends. Your intimidation succeeds on other people only because you put up a fierce front. When it comes to actions, well... You're nothing. If you are mature you would know that fighting is for animals. Civilized people fight with words. Nice words I mean, not the type of colourful language that you use. Once again, I do not appreciate people like you, and you're just disgusting.
Also, I think I can choose waht I wanna believe. If I wanna believe in God then I'll continue believing in Him. You wanna believe in your aliens, then go ahead. It's a free country. Of course even if I saw an alien I'll still believe in my God.
And if you wanna talk things out you can always look for me. Don't spam my cbox. It's really irritating. I'll leave it here already, but I'm warning you now. Don't ever, ever disturb my friends, my family and I again, or you'll pay the piper. This I can assure you.
James, I don't know who you are and all, but please, do not think for a moment you can intimidate me or any of my friends. Your intimidation succeeds on other people only because you put up a fierce front. When it comes to actions, well... You're nothing. If you are mature you would know that fighting is for animals. Civilized people fight with words. Nice words I mean, not the type of colourful language that you use. Once again, I do not appreciate people like you, and you're just disgusting.
Also, I think I can choose waht I wanna believe. If I wanna believe in God then I'll continue believing in Him. You wanna believe in your aliens, then go ahead. It's a free country. Of course even if I saw an alien I'll still believe in my God.
And if you wanna talk things out you can always look for me. Don't spam my cbox. It's really irritating. I'll leave it here already, but I'm warning you now. Don't ever, ever disturb my friends, my family and I again, or you'll pay the piper. This I can assure you.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
(9/9/2008)
Now, I'm just sitting at home, waiting for my paper to start. Social Studies, not a particularly favourite subject of mine, but it doesn't matter. I'll still do my best for it and shine for Christ in my school. Not for my glory but Yours.
Monday, September 8, 2008
(8/9/2008)
Today's my 3rd day of becoming closer to breakthrough! I just got back home from my prelims... Whoo... I tell you, it's actually easier than it seems! They were all like, "Prelims ah? Siao liao lah!" But thank God for peace of mind and clarity of thought. I managed to finish my history paper within the time limit when my other friends could not. So thank God for that. I also thank God that the essay that I wrote, was probably my best so far, and I can already hear my Humanities teacher going, "Ayron! Do so well, I thought never do assignment should fail!" Or something like that. Whatever it is, I do it not for my glory, but for my Father's. Let Your kingdom come, Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven today.
But for my physics practical, well... Not as well done, but! I've not given up on it. Initially when I saw that they've set up an electric cicuit, I thought, "Die liao!" But My Abba Daddy comforted me and when I started doing the paper, it was so easy! Unfortunately there were some changes that we had to make on the paper, (Change 0.50A to 0.70A ) which I left out! So pissed when I thnk about it... But nevermind! I have faith that I will still pass! Because Jesus is my God! Then for the chemistry practical I think I did rather well, but there were some rather wierd results collected, like, hydrogen gas evolved, but damp blue litmus paper turned red. Huh? Like what is going on?! Nevertheless, I repeated the experiment 3 times, thus if they find fault I have some form of evidence that this is the result I collected. In the end most of us were puzzled by the end result of solid Q and liquid P, so at least I ain't alone. Thank God though for this day! It's kinda fruitful, and now to study my maths before going out for dinner with Joel. And the condemned sat down for the last supper. Haha!
Joel, my bro! I'll miss you alot while you're in NS! It will mean we can't communicate as much, but nevertheless, I pray that NS will strengthen you both physically and spiritually (The spiritual part I'm not too sure how, but let God do the work!). I look forward to seeing you soon!
God bless ya! You're a wonderful brother to me and many people! Shine for Christ while in NS!
But for my physics practical, well... Not as well done, but! I've not given up on it. Initially when I saw that they've set up an electric cicuit, I thought, "Die liao!" But My Abba Daddy comforted me and when I started doing the paper, it was so easy! Unfortunately there were some changes that we had to make on the paper, (Change 0.50A to 0.70A ) which I left out! So pissed when I thnk about it... But nevermind! I have faith that I will still pass! Because Jesus is my God! Then for the chemistry practical I think I did rather well, but there were some rather wierd results collected, like, hydrogen gas evolved, but damp blue litmus paper turned red. Huh? Like what is going on?! Nevertheless, I repeated the experiment 3 times, thus if they find fault I have some form of evidence that this is the result I collected. In the end most of us were puzzled by the end result of solid Q and liquid P, so at least I ain't alone. Thank God though for this day! It's kinda fruitful, and now to study my maths before going out for dinner with Joel. And the condemned sat down for the last supper. Haha!
Joel, my bro! I'll miss you alot while you're in NS! It will mean we can't communicate as much, but nevertheless, I pray that NS will strengthen you both physically and spiritually (The spiritual part I'm not too sure how, but let God do the work!). I look forward to seeing you soon!
God bless ya! You're a wonderful brother to me and many people! Shine for Christ while in NS!
Saturday, September 6, 2008
Amazing Grace
It is God's amazing grace by which I am able to boldly come before His throne. As I sang my heart out to Him, He just comforted and assured me. Just like a father would. He is my heavenly Father, in Him there is no condemnation. As I live by the grace of God I will forever be with Him. I am His, for He chose me to do a great work in my lifetime.
As I wept tears today I let it flow, just flow. As I stood before His altar today I just let the tears continue to flow. And what a release I had in my life. The first step of breakthrough has been taken. Now to be courageous and take the second step.
I close the first day of being closer to breakthrough with a prayer and a kiss to my Abba Father.
As I wept tears today I let it flow, just flow. As I stood before His altar today I just let the tears continue to flow. And what a release I had in my life. The first step of breakthrough has been taken. Now to be courageous and take the second step.
I close the first day of being closer to breakthrough with a prayer and a kiss to my Abba Father.
(6/9/2008)
*sigh* What an amazing night I had... God had been chasing my heart for the past 2-3 days, and I just kept running further and further. But thank God, He sent an angel to lasso me in. If not I would have just ran further and further away from God.
Dearest Daddy,
Thank You for the work that You've done and are still doing in my life, I strive to live a life that is pure, pleasing and acceptable to You. Thank You for the price that You've paid for my sins. That in You I am a new creation, always. Abba Father, I just pray that You come and fill me with Your Holy Spirit, and continue to use me for the glory of Your kingdom, I pray that one day my story can be used as a great testimony, to testify the truly, great and marvellous work that You've done in me.
Dear Kel,
Thank you for chasing me down, even though I was reluctant to share, but thank you for being so 'stubborn'. Thank you for not forsaking me, and standing by me through it all. Ultimately, thank you for being my bestest friend.
Dear Cynthia,
Thank you for just taking your date day to come and visit me. It wasn't much but you came down with Kel just to visit me. I wish that there's more to say but there isn't. To sum it up, thanks for being such a great and caring leader.
Dear Emily, Joel and Wei Yang,
Thank you for the care and concern that you've had for me over the past week or so. Thanks for your e-mails and smses. Much love.
Dear James,
Not much to say to you except, Get behind me satan! For you are not mindful of the things of God! I will choose to remain in my Father's house, forever in His tight embrace. For I belong to Him, not to the world, nor to satan! Your words, like the fiery darts, will be quenched!
The joy of the Lord is my strength, and in Him, the weak can say that they are strong.
The day of breakthrough draws closer with every passing day. If only you can believe.
Dearest Daddy,
Thank You for the work that You've done and are still doing in my life, I strive to live a life that is pure, pleasing and acceptable to You. Thank You for the price that You've paid for my sins. That in You I am a new creation, always. Abba Father, I just pray that You come and fill me with Your Holy Spirit, and continue to use me for the glory of Your kingdom, I pray that one day my story can be used as a great testimony, to testify the truly, great and marvellous work that You've done in me.
Dear Kel,
Thank you for chasing me down, even though I was reluctant to share, but thank you for being so 'stubborn'. Thank you for not forsaking me, and standing by me through it all. Ultimately, thank you for being my bestest friend.
Dear Cynthia,
Thank you for just taking your date day to come and visit me. It wasn't much but you came down with Kel just to visit me. I wish that there's more to say but there isn't. To sum it up, thanks for being such a great and caring leader.
Dear Emily, Joel and Wei Yang,
Thank you for the care and concern that you've had for me over the past week or so. Thanks for your e-mails and smses. Much love.
Dear James,
Not much to say to you except, Get behind me satan! For you are not mindful of the things of God! I will choose to remain in my Father's house, forever in His tight embrace. For I belong to Him, not to the world, nor to satan! Your words, like the fiery darts, will be quenched!
The joy of the Lord is my strength, and in Him, the weak can say that they are strong.
The day of breakthrough draws closer with every passing day. If only you can believe.
Friday, September 5, 2008
To James and nnfytk
Dearest James,
Firstly, let me just say, confidently, that I don't know you and you don't know me. But let's put that aside. What makes you think I'm gay? I'm not sure that we've met, thus you can't have seen the way I talk and act right? Unless you've been my 'partner' before or you're a stalker... In that case, I'm flattered, I don't have any stalkers, you're the first. Secondly, I feel that believing in the natural, and being a free thinker like you is kinda boring, I've been one myself, I wasn't born a Christian y'know. Oh yeah, lets meet soon, you look like a fun guy to hang around. Lets meet up soon.
Faithfully, Ayron
nnfytk,
you don't have to stand up for me, since you've already decided that you don't care, go and find someone else to stand up for. I don't need you. Anonymous people are such a bore... The sense of mystery don't help much
Firstly, let me just say, confidently, that I don't know you and you don't know me. But let's put that aside. What makes you think I'm gay? I'm not sure that we've met, thus you can't have seen the way I talk and act right? Unless you've been my 'partner' before or you're a stalker... In that case, I'm flattered, I don't have any stalkers, you're the first. Secondly, I feel that believing in the natural, and being a free thinker like you is kinda boring, I've been one myself, I wasn't born a Christian y'know. Oh yeah, lets meet soon, you look like a fun guy to hang around. Lets meet up soon.
Faithfully, Ayron
nnfytk,
you don't have to stand up for me, since you've already decided that you don't care, go and find someone else to stand up for. I don't need you. Anonymous people are such a bore... The sense of mystery don't help much
(5/9/2008)
It's friday. And tomorrow will be saturday. What will I do then? Will I hide, or will I run back to Him? I wish it was easier, but then again, things in life are never as easy as it seems eh? When you think about how you wanna do it in your mind, wow, there's so much courage, no fear at all. The moment you wanna put your thoughts into actions, then the fear comes... That's how it always is with me. That's why I've lost precious people, precious things. Soon, if I don't do something soon, I'll lose what I have left...
I really just can't find it in myself to be confident anymore... Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Dearest Kelvin,
I know that you care for me, and you love me. But I just can't find it in myself to have the courage to share. I really would like to pour out onto someone, but I just don't know whom. The fear or inadequacy or something just keeps holding me back.
Sincerely, Ayron
I really just can't find it in myself to be confident anymore... Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Dearest Kelvin,
I know that you care for me, and you love me. But I just can't find it in myself to have the courage to share. I really would like to pour out onto someone, but I just don't know whom. The fear or inadequacy or something just keeps holding me back.
Sincerely, Ayron
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Hypocritical me...
I've been living 2 lives this week. The first one is the 'I'm fine' life. To most people whom I talk to, I'm fine. The 2nd one is the 'I'm not fine' life... I guess you guys know what I mean eh?
5 minutes ago I just got off the phone with a brother. He said that he called me to share his burden, saying that he finds peace whenever he talks to me. He says I'm a good listener too... But it's such a lie... A hypocritical lie. I'm strong to others, but in truth, I'm not someone you should lean on. If you lean on me, you'll just fall down when I come tumbling down... I'm such a hypocrite...
5 minutes ago I just got off the phone with a brother. He said that he called me to share his burden, saying that he finds peace whenever he talks to me. He says I'm a good listener too... But it's such a lie... A hypocritical lie. I'm strong to others, but in truth, I'm not someone you should lean on. If you lean on me, you'll just fall down when I come tumbling down... I'm such a hypocrite...
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
(3/8/2008)
I told myself I'd be strong. How can I lead people when I am not doing well myself? I told myself, I wouldn't be a burden. But I'm slipping more into that direction. Thank God for friends, those that care, I mean.
Monday, September 1, 2008
(1/9/2008)
I feel... Empty. So Hollow, no warmth within.
Let me go back to the times when we could just be together, anywhere, any time.
And I'd just enjoy the time we have together in silence.
Take me back in time, and leave me there forever.
Let me go back to the times when we could just be together, anywhere, any time.
And I'd just enjoy the time we have together in silence.
Take me back in time, and leave me there forever.
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Childlike faith
I love Rev Casey Treat! He has very simpl, innocent and childlike faith. Something which I don't have, but wanna achieve. I wanna do more than just believe in God. I wanna trust in Him! Rev Casey's life experiences are truly motivational for me. All he had was simple faith, and wham! God just blesses him time and time again. Truly, I'm gonna have faith as that of a child, simple and innocent.
Saturday, August 30, 2008
The beauty of God
The beauty of God
Every where I go, there's no running from You.
Looking up, down, left, right, inside, out I'll find You.
In the highest mountain, in the darkest valley,
In a wide open field, in my tiny room,
I'll always find You, waiting just for me.
In the rough seas, in the calm skies,
In the rough times, You're always in my life.
We know each other, yet we're so far apart.
But I know where to find You,
So you'll always have my heart.
The beauty of God, I'll always applaud.
I'll lift You high, praise and exalt.
For there is none as deserving,
As my Lord and King.
Every where I go, there's no running from You.
Looking up, down, left, right, inside, out I'll find You.
In the highest mountain, in the darkest valley,
In a wide open field, in my tiny room,
I'll always find You, waiting just for me.
In the rough seas, in the calm skies,
In the rough times, You're always in my life.
We know each other, yet we're so far apart.
But I know where to find You,
So you'll always have my heart.
The beauty of God, I'll always applaud.
I'll lift You high, praise and exalt.
For there is none as deserving,
As my Lord and King.
Friday, August 29, 2008
(29/8/2008)
I'm gonna go back to Lakeside today, with my freaky haircut and see if any of the teachers recognize me. I haven't returned to Lakeside since I went into secondary school. But I think it'll be okay. This one time trip will be something special and memorable, than going back every year. That's what I think at least.
Afterwhich I'll go downtown to get my new camera. It's time I owned 1 of my own.
Sailing for a few days now, and my Lord has presented me with a gift. Something to treasure, something to share. It almost seems impossible for me to accept it, what with my failures and all. But He assured me that the reason He chose me, was because I'm capable of it.
Afterwhich I'll go downtown to get my new camera. It's time I owned 1 of my own.
Sailing for a few days now, and my Lord has presented me with a gift. Something to treasure, something to share. It almost seems impossible for me to accept it, what with my failures and all. But He assured me that the reason He chose me, was because I'm capable of it.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
(28/8/2008)
Let's see... Firstly, I went to get my hair cut, and it's freaky... Nevermind about that. You can't really cry over spilt milk anyways. Secondly, it's Teacher's day tomorrow and I don't wanna go, but I think my teacher's really wanna see me... It's nice to know that even teacher's wanna hang with me. Thirdly, my latest essay got me a 20 out of 30! Praise the Lord! It has been such a long time since I saw a 20 on any of my essays. My teacher's comment was, "Rather emotive." Which according to her is good! So I'll post it up for you guys to enjoy!
Justice
Day after day, I would arrest dissidents, on the charge of treason or for going against the policies of the Party. I always thought they got what they deserved. No questions were asked about who we were going after or why. Usually the fate of these people would be unknown. We were always told after a mission that we were enforcing the law, administering justice to a chaotic and lawless world. We were seen as heroes, as people who upheld the righteous justice system. Or at least that's what they told us.
As usual we were sent on another mission to administer, much deserved, justice. this time a family living in a suburban area near the country side. Following procedure, we broke the door, went in and rounded up everyone, the children even. As theey were lined up outside, my commanding officer heralded, "You are all under arrest for conspiracy against the Party and for assisting the rebels in bringing down the regime."
Perfectly normal, I thought, but then something struck me. Were eight-year old children capable of conspiracy? I hardly think so, though it wasn't my place to question what was being done. As per instructions, we ransacked the house looking for "secret documents" and proof of conspiracy. As I methodically went through every room, I saw a pink Diary. I picked it up and flipped through its pages...
18th September 2027
Dear Diary,
I'm scared. Today a black van drove up to the school. Then the men in black pulled Ms. Kutner out of the class. We all ran to the window, and saw her argue with the men in black. Then he took out a gun and shot her! The men in black came into our class and said that she had been a bad woman.
Was this our justice system? What happened to the right to a lawyer? In 15 years in the force I have never heard of public executions, let alone in front of so many children. Is this the justice we were administering to the people? Is this, after all, what this world needs? I questioned my superiors about it, and they told me to forget about it, as they would not want the pleasure of arresting me on the charge of treason. Is this justice?
I learnt a few days later, that the girl who wrote the diary was shot, along with the rest of the family. I couldn't take it anymore. I left the forfe, unable to bear the guilt that I had assisted in killing a little girl. Perhaps our justice was an injustice.
Do let me know what you think about it. Frankly it's one of my favourite essays that I have personally written.
Justice
Day after day, I would arrest dissidents, on the charge of treason or for going against the policies of the Party. I always thought they got what they deserved. No questions were asked about who we were going after or why. Usually the fate of these people would be unknown. We were always told after a mission that we were enforcing the law, administering justice to a chaotic and lawless world. We were seen as heroes, as people who upheld the righteous justice system. Or at least that's what they told us.
As usual we were sent on another mission to administer, much deserved, justice. this time a family living in a suburban area near the country side. Following procedure, we broke the door, went in and rounded up everyone, the children even. As theey were lined up outside, my commanding officer heralded, "You are all under arrest for conspiracy against the Party and for assisting the rebels in bringing down the regime."
Perfectly normal, I thought, but then something struck me. Were eight-year old children capable of conspiracy? I hardly think so, though it wasn't my place to question what was being done. As per instructions, we ransacked the house looking for "secret documents" and proof of conspiracy. As I methodically went through every room, I saw a pink Diary. I picked it up and flipped through its pages...
18th September 2027
Dear Diary,
I'm scared. Today a black van drove up to the school. Then the men in black pulled Ms. Kutner out of the class. We all ran to the window, and saw her argue with the men in black. Then he took out a gun and shot her! The men in black came into our class and said that she had been a bad woman.
Was this our justice system? What happened to the right to a lawyer? In 15 years in the force I have never heard of public executions, let alone in front of so many children. Is this the justice we were administering to the people? Is this, after all, what this world needs? I questioned my superiors about it, and they told me to forget about it, as they would not want the pleasure of arresting me on the charge of treason. Is this justice?
I learnt a few days later, that the girl who wrote the diary was shot, along with the rest of the family. I couldn't take it anymore. I left the forfe, unable to bear the guilt that I had assisted in killing a little girl. Perhaps our justice was an injustice.
Do let me know what you think about it. Frankly it's one of my favourite essays that I have personally written.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
(27/8/2008)
My ship's been patched and ready for cast off. Mon Capitan! Lead the way. As usual, I'll grab Your hand and follow You wherever You go. Don't wanna be behind or in front of You, but just right next to You.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
(26/8/2008)
My ship sank after just less than one day of sailing... Now to decide. Patch up the ship and continue or to just await rescue from another ship.
Monday, August 25, 2008
Full Circle
I'm so lost on the seas... I have no port to call to. No ship to rescue me. I'm just lost in this great big ocean. Just God and me.
I'm waiting my Lord. Bring me full circle, just like You said You would. I'll do anything. Just bring me full circle, back to the beggining.
I'm waiting my Lord. Bring me full circle, just like You said You would. I'll do anything. Just bring me full circle, back to the beggining.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Happy Birthday Pastor!
Dear Pastor Kong,
Thank you for being an inspiration to us. Your love for God and people is truly a beacon of hope for all to see. So here's wishing you a very happy, blessed, birthday!
Thank you for being an inspiration to us. Your love for God and people is truly a beacon of hope for all to see. So here's wishing you a very happy, blessed, birthday!
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Friday, August 22, 2008
Thursday, August 21, 2008
People don't change
If you've ever watched House M.D, then you'll understand when Dr. Gregory House says, "People don't change." Thinking on what he said, it's quite true. I have come to believe that people don't change. They suppress. People don't change their characteristics, they suppress it and produce another. Mean while these suppressed traits and personalities are stored away in the subconcious of the subconcious, forgotten, but still there. They are then stored away forever. Some of us go through our entire lives not realizing that they are suppressing their characteristics. Those that do realize, however, are more prone to remebering them. This can be brought on by a distant faded memory, a recent event, etc, etc... In short, a powerful incident. The person then chooses to embrace his/her old characteristics again, or to discard them back into the subconcious of the subconcious.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
(20/8/2008)
I'm bored, and clueless as to what to do... I don't wanna be like that. I wanna feel like I know what I'm studying for. I want to feel like there is something to achieve through it all. I just wanna go back to the simple times of God and me. When He would just come and give me a hug or say "I love you" out of the blue... I miss those times...
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
I apologize
To: Whom it may concern,
Thank you for pointing out my flaws, good use of language, very much impressed by your command of the english language. Who knows, you may be better than me. What I did was not acceptable I admit, not only was I aggravating and irksome, I was a jerk. Thank you for pointing that out to me. I apologize for my childish behaviour, and would like to make it up to you, I just don't know how. Any suggestions?
From: Ayron
I wasn't informed that we weren't going to have a prayer meeting today... Do you know how much I look forward to it, then only to have been told at the last minute that you guys ain't coming? And if I didn't even ask or check with you guys, I don't think any of you would have told me... I am pissed, definitely, but forget about it. I'll see you guys this saturday.
Thank you for pointing out my flaws, good use of language, very much impressed by your command of the english language. Who knows, you may be better than me. What I did was not acceptable I admit, not only was I aggravating and irksome, I was a jerk. Thank you for pointing that out to me. I apologize for my childish behaviour, and would like to make it up to you, I just don't know how. Any suggestions?
From: Ayron
I wasn't informed that we weren't going to have a prayer meeting today... Do you know how much I look forward to it, then only to have been told at the last minute that you guys ain't coming? And if I didn't even ask or check with you guys, I don't think any of you would have told me... I am pissed, definitely, but forget about it. I'll see you guys this saturday.
(19/8/2008)
Until now I still have no idea why I'm studying. The more I think of it the more I am convinced that I don't need to... And yet subconciously I want to... How would y'all feel should I fail? How would me parents feel?
Once again, another day passes. Another day of unpleasantness. Is it me? Is it you? I think it's you. Yet I refuse to let you interfere with my day. For today I will stop running wild. Today I hear Your call. And You got me, all of me!
Once again, another day passes. Another day of unpleasantness. Is it me? Is it you? I think it's you. Yet I refuse to let you interfere with my day. For today I will stop running wild. Today I hear Your call. And You got me, all of me!
Monday, August 18, 2008
(18/8/2008)
I have spent the whole day being insulted by people. Calling me all sorts of things, in the name of fun. It's fun isn't it to make fun of me? So long as it ain't you.
English 'O' Level Oral Exam just ended a few hours ago, and I don't think I did well at all... Since sec 1 I could make the examiner smile at me and want the conversation to go on. Not this time. He just refused to smile and curtly said, "Okay, you can go."
I mean c'mon! The least you could do was break the monotone couldn't ya? It's boring for me to talk to someone who doesn't smile or have expression in his voice. I called Wei Yang immediately after I left the school. Thanks man for encouraging me! I don't think I did well, but God knows I did my best.
I just wanna thank all those who have been praying for me, and especially Desmond!
English 'O' Level Oral Exam just ended a few hours ago, and I don't think I did well at all... Since sec 1 I could make the examiner smile at me and want the conversation to go on. Not this time. He just refused to smile and curtly said, "Okay, you can go."
I mean c'mon! The least you could do was break the monotone couldn't ya? It's boring for me to talk to someone who doesn't smile or have expression in his voice. I called Wei Yang immediately after I left the school. Thanks man for encouraging me! I don't think I did well, but God knows I did my best.
I just wanna thank all those who have been praying for me, and especially Desmond!
Friday, August 15, 2008
(15/8/2008)
I need to cry... I'm quite sad at the time this post is posted, thus the need to cry. There isn't anywhere or anyone I can turn to in the school... It's nice to know that I'm still remebered by those who are clost to my heart.
Once again, I still have no idea why I'm studying so hard. It somehow just doesn't make any sense. In all that is happening right now I just don't have the drive, or the motivation... I don't wanna do something that I'll regret for the rest of my life. Sure an enducation is important, but it's not essential to what I wanna accomplish, there just isn't any sense. I'll press on though. But I'm disliking it. Alot.
Once again, I still have no idea why I'm studying so hard. It somehow just doesn't make any sense. In all that is happening right now I just don't have the drive, or the motivation... I don't wanna do something that I'll regret for the rest of my life. Sure an enducation is important, but it's not essential to what I wanna accomplish, there just isn't any sense. I'll press on though. But I'm disliking it. Alot.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Dreamless sleep
I slept at 8pm last night. Woke up at 5.30am this morning. It was the beset sleep I've had in a long time. Serene. Quiet. Dreamless. No nightmares. No bad dreams. Nothing. Truly the best sleep I've had in a long time. And yet, I went to sleep with a heavy heart. I have no idea what it is though...
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Friends. I need 'em
A friend once told me...
"Do not protect yourself with fences, but protect yourself with FRIENDS!
I'm here for ya!"
Y'know, I wonder from time to time. Would I be capable of protecting another? Would I be able to protect that which is dearest to me? I would like to think so. But as I have come to realize, I'm not even capable of taking care of myself...
Can I still be your friend?
Can I still be Your friend?
"Do not protect yourself with fences, but protect yourself with FRIENDS!
I'm here for ya!"
Y'know, I wonder from time to time. Would I be capable of protecting another? Would I be able to protect that which is dearest to me? I would like to think so. But as I have come to realize, I'm not even capable of taking care of myself...
Can I still be your friend?
Can I still be Your friend?
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Wasted effort?
It feels like 9 days of running gone to waste. All because of 1 stupid decision. I don't wanna talk about it now... But I'm picking up faster than before. But as I think of it, is ti a good thing or a bad thing? Is it because I know the grace of God is sufficient, or is it because my heart has been seared by a hot iron? I hope it's the former not the latter...
I thank God that I managed to catch up with a dear friend today. We took the bus home together and just talked. It's been a long time since we did that. I really enjoyed it.
Stay strong in the Lord, my friend.
Loving ya!
I thank God that I managed to catch up with a dear friend today. We took the bus home together and just talked. It's been a long time since we did that. I really enjoyed it.
Stay strong in the Lord, my friend.
Loving ya!
Monday, August 11, 2008
(11/8/2008)
I have no idea what I'm studying for... Seriously, I know what I want and, what I want doesn't require a piece of paper... But still to think that I'm studying just to get into a poly, and then not enjoy what I am doing... It just sucks.
I missed out on another chance of fellowship again. You have no idea how much it's been bugging me. To think that it'll be another week before I see you guys again... Sunday service was something that spoke to me. While I have been serving, I'm only serving when it's convenient for me. No more such things.
"...And yet I show you a more excellent way."
1 Cor 12:31
I missed out on another chance of fellowship again. You have no idea how much it's been bugging me. To think that it'll be another week before I see you guys again... Sunday service was something that spoke to me. While I have been serving, I'm only serving when it's convenient for me. No more such things.
"...And yet I show you a more excellent way."
1 Cor 12:31
Saturday, August 9, 2008
(9/8/2008)
*Sigh* I thought me and me mum were gonna go out today, but... We didn't... Oh well, it doesn't matter, so long as I have Him in my life I'm fine!
Emily, thank you for the wonderful times we've spent together this past 2 months. You've been my joy! Continue to be strong in the Lord.
Emily, thank you for the wonderful times we've spent together this past 2 months. You've been my joy! Continue to be strong in the Lord.
Friday, August 8, 2008
God's Mysterious Ways
I was just reading a dear friend's blog. How far he has come since day 1. And yet, this happens. Should I be blaming people? I should think not. SHould I blame God for letting this happen? Now as I thought about it he reminded me of a show I watched. 'Keeping Mum', that's the title. Now in the show Rowan Atkinson was a vicar, and he delivered a sermon on God's Mysterious Ways. The Lord reminded me of this scene...
"Now, should we demand an explaination from our Lord? Question His methods? I don't think the good Lord wants us to question Him too much." He then quotes Isaiah 55, "For my ways are higher than your ways... I think what the good Lord really means is, "I'm mysterious folks. Live with it."
As this scene flashed through my mind I am in a way comforted. Thank God that in Him there is always a good ending.
"Now, should we demand an explaination from our Lord? Question His methods? I don't think the good Lord wants us to question Him too much." He then quotes Isaiah 55, "For my ways are higher than your ways... I think what the good Lord really means is, "I'm mysterious folks. Live with it."
As this scene flashed through my mind I am in a way comforted. Thank God that in Him there is always a good ending.
Chocolate chip cookies
In the midst of life we are constantly caught up with work, studies, relationship problems, financial problems, etc, etc... (the list just goes on and on.)
We seek desperately for ways to find peace. Suicide? It's quite common really. Hanging out with friends? It's really common, nothing I have against. But please ensure you're with the right type of friends. Doing more work? I'm not too sure abouth this one, but some of my classmates do more homework to find peace. (wierd huh?)
For me, my peace is in God. In Him I am secure. Knowing very well that He is watching over me. I thank God that I have the talent to cook. Besides God I find peace in cooking. And enjoying homemade chocolate chip cookies! (makes me sound like and emotional eater...) But it just brings me great joy to enjoy my own creations. I'm bringing those chocolate chip cookies for cell group meeting later. I made 'em especially for Emy! I miss you sister! Can't wait to see you later. But more importantly I thank God that we're having cell group meeting later. Let it be a time of encounters with Him!
Much loves!
We seek desperately for ways to find peace. Suicide? It's quite common really. Hanging out with friends? It's really common, nothing I have against. But please ensure you're with the right type of friends. Doing more work? I'm not too sure abouth this one, but some of my classmates do more homework to find peace. (wierd huh?)
For me, my peace is in God. In Him I am secure. Knowing very well that He is watching over me. I thank God that I have the talent to cook. Besides God I find peace in cooking. And enjoying homemade chocolate chip cookies! (makes me sound like and emotional eater...) But it just brings me great joy to enjoy my own creations. I'm bringing those chocolate chip cookies for cell group meeting later. I made 'em especially for Emy! I miss you sister! Can't wait to see you later. But more importantly I thank God that we're having cell group meeting later. Let it be a time of encounters with Him!
Much loves!
(8/8/2008)
I thank my God for who I am.
In Him I am much.
In Him there is freedom.
In Him there is peace.
All I am is because of You.
All I am is for You.
Great is Your faithfulness.
Great is Your love.
In You there is liberty.
In you there is joy.
Holy are You Lord.
Precious are You to me.
In Him I am much.
In Him there is freedom.
In Him there is peace.
All I am is because of You.
All I am is for You.
Great is Your faithfulness.
Great is Your love.
In You there is liberty.
In you there is joy.
Holy are You Lord.
Precious are You to me.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
(7/8/2008)
Thank God it's near the end of the week. Tomorrow is just National Day Celebrations at school. Unfortunately for me, I was asked to help with the packing up after the celebrations and all that... And unfortunately for me, my mouth wouldn't say 'No' (Fine... I couldn't say no...)
Anyways after this blog entry I'm going to wash up and start baking cookies for tomorrow and for the cellgroup outing to Pulau Ubin. It's been so long since I've been there... The last time I was there I was only 10 years old. My mum brought me there for my birthday. I was, however, too young to appreciate it. Plus, if I recall I fell sick while I was there.
"But earnestly desire the best gifts. And yet I show you a more excellent way."
-Paul to the Corinthians at Corinth. (1 Cor 12:31)
Lord, I ask that You will come into my life and do a work in me. Help me to love another as much as I love myself. In Jesus' name, amen.
Anyways after this blog entry I'm going to wash up and start baking cookies for tomorrow and for the cellgroup outing to Pulau Ubin. It's been so long since I've been there... The last time I was there I was only 10 years old. My mum brought me there for my birthday. I was, however, too young to appreciate it. Plus, if I recall I fell sick while I was there.
"But earnestly desire the best gifts. And yet I show you a more excellent way."
-Paul to the Corinthians at Corinth. (1 Cor 12:31)
Lord, I ask that You will come into my life and do a work in me. Help me to love another as much as I love myself. In Jesus' name, amen.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
(6/8/2008)
I'm back from school and am really bored right now. Doesn't matter... Nothing much has happened the past few days. Nothing interesting at least.
I know God loves me, complete with my flaws and all. I'm sure he knows what He's buying. And I know I'm so precious in His eyes that He gave His only Son for me.
Thank You so much!
I know God loves me, complete with my flaws and all. I'm sure he knows what He's buying. And I know I'm so precious in His eyes that He gave His only Son for me.
Thank You so much!
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Up and running
My first, properly created, blog. Thanks to Belle, for teaching me how to set it up. :)
More posts coming up soon.
More posts coming up soon.
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