Monday, September 27, 2010

I awoke to the sound of the door opening...
It was light. The birds were flying, and the sky was blue.
The laptop next to me, still running.
I chanced upon you. And saw that you put me to bed.

That's one of the sweetest things anyone has done for me.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

I feel trapped...
Shackled by the chains of society.
Suffocated by the expectations of family.
Cornered by my mind.

Burn me, and release me.
Ashes to ashes.
Dust to dust.
I shall no longer remain here.
But escape to the loving embrace of the dark void.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

I am Chaos

I have watched the milleniums go by...
Not a day passes without my watching.
The strings of the universe are pulled by me.
I am not God. I am not the Devil. I am not Fate.
Who am I? What am I? Irrelevant questions that have no answers.
The most brilliant of minds fail to grasp who I am.
The simplest of minds, don't know what I am.
I am He who walks among the stars.
The Giver of Life, the Destroyer of Worlds
I place each star in it's proper place, and light up the night sky.
The sun sits in my right hand. The moon in my left.
My right hand burns daily, yet is not burnt.
My left hand freezes nightly, yet is not frozen
The complexity of my insanity is absurdity in action.
I create the creatures of myths, and the constructs of doom.
Unicorns and centaurs, sirens and minotaurs.
All are my children, all are my children's children.
The Golden Angels stand behind me, dictating what I speak.
The Silver Angels stand beside me, deciphering what I think.
But my dearest of children, the Iron Angels, sit at my feet.
Ready to fly on wings of cold metal, and do my bidding.
And so that is my entourage. A mixture of the high and the low.
We travel the starry lanes, visiting each world that I have crafted.
We travel to different dimensions, sowing discord and harmony.
I am Peace Bringer, and War Monger.
I am Light and Dark. Life and Death.
The absurdity of my action is the complexity of my insanity.
Erratic are my movements, irrational are my thoughts.
Slurred is my speech and broken are my limbs.
I am Chaos.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

The Great Accepter

We live, we die.
We burn, we freeze.
We awake, we sleep.
Death waits for us with open arms
Ready to embrace us in the final moment.
The loving mother to all us sinners.
The Great Accepter.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

I feel like a little school boy in love ><
That is too OOC for me...

My character is Evil
Blood Thirsty

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Okay, I feel like snapping at anyone who so much as talks to me now...
I really don't feel good now, and I'm ready to kill myself.
I don't like to be kept waiting every single time.
I'm fucking pissed now...
Gonna shower and cool off...

Friday, September 17, 2010

Gonna start on a new drawing now.
Gonna do a proper job of it, and not the usual rush jobs.
Wish me luck ^^
Fuck Macbreakfast...

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

the barrel at my temple.
the slug in the barrel.
the finger on the trigger
the impulse through my veins.

the finger twitch.
the metal moves.
the slug rushes down.
the bullet smashes.

the blood flows.
the world falls silent.
the colours fade and dim.
the breathing slows.

the blue and red flashes.
the crowd gathers.
the people are curious.
the name fades into obscurity.
I've noticed things about me.

1) I've been feeling really restless within. Though it doesn't show outwardly, inside I'm screaming for freedom... It's painful, and it really hurts. But after so long the pain is numbed. Now riddle me this. Is that good or bad?

2) Emails from you in the morning makes me smile. That is the one thing that I hope time won't change.

3) I'm feeling a little apprehensive of the future, and what it'll bring. It's always the unknown which scares the shit outta me...

4) I find it easier to believe that like minded people from elsewhere genuinely appreciate me for who I am. Sorry to all those who don't fit in this category.

I am a person with the need to be active. My mind needs to be stimulated at all times through creative thinking, problem solving and thinking deeply. A good debate from time to time helps as well.

Besides being mentally active, I do appreciate being physically active as well. Anything that isn't sports would do. Recreational activities. Rock climbing (Though I haven't done it in almost 4 years), Parkour (Though I haven't really got the necessary skills), etc, etc...

Why I'm writing this, I've got no idea...
A testament to my boredom.

Monday, September 13, 2010

Biting hands

When you bite the hand of those who feed you.
Don't expect it to feed you again.
Go off, and search for another.
And make sure you don't bite that hand as well.
I burn within.
But outwardly am cold.
Nothing remains inside.
Just ash and ice.

A cold flame washes over me.
Cleansing, purifying.
I drop to my knees,
In nothing but awe.

What is this?
What is this power that fills me?
The strength of a dozen comes.
The wisdom of 20 brains comes.

But with all this power,
I am at a loss at what to do.
My life feels meaningless.
And I am wandering.

Lost I am.
I am lost.
In the abyss, surrounded by cold dark walls.
No light comes, no sound reaches my ears.

Rescue me.
Leave me.
Kill me.
Burn me.

Watch as I crumble.
Watch as I turn to dust.
Ashes to ashes.
Dust to dust.

My soul is no more.
My life is gone.
No more am I here.
No more of me will you see.
You make liking you so easy...


Okkkkaaaaaayyyyyy... That was too OOC...
What's wrong with me?!
Maybe there's nothing wrong with it...
Tis a natural response to it.

Think man! Think!

Sunday, September 12, 2010


Man... What's with my fascination with blood?!
I so feel like cutting myself and drinking my own blood.
Paint my face real white, and get pale blue contact lenses...
Dress up in leather and wear eyeliner.
Go out in the day with shades and a brolly.
And be super active at night.

Oooh... Vampirism...
Funny. I like the word. Vampirism.
It just seems to roll off my tongue.

I'll let y'all know if I ever get round to doing what I said.

Monday, September 6, 2010

Ich bin ihre Marionette.

A marionette on a string.
That's what I am.
I sing and dance, laugh and cry,
All for your delight.

I'm made of fine maple,
Painted with natural dyes.
I have sapphires for eyes,
And silk for my clothes.

I'll bring you joy and laughter,
Even though you hate me.
For that's all that I'm here for,
To bring you euphoria and more.

The day will come, when I've no more value.
Little more than a flexible piece of wood.
You'll cast me aside, like a dirty old rag,
And I'll sit and wait for my time again.

As time goes by my body will rot.
My clothes will be eaten by moths,
And my colour will fade.
But my eyes with tears, will sparkle forever.

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Stuck in this hollow shell of a man,
My soul waits and waits and waits.
For that moment in time, when all is still.
When all I see is unphased and real.

I want to sprout wings and fly.
Away from this, and away from here.
From the suffering and anguish,
From the tears and the fears.

When the time comes, my soul shall break free.
Shaking the ashes off my bones,
I shall walk on the dark side of the sun.
Burning, burning, burning.

Friday, September 3, 2010

An Deiner Seite

Update again...
Feels like forever since I last blogged...
Anyways, here you go!