Tuesday, November 30, 2010

9 days left...

Argh!!! Worry, fret... *tugs at hair*
I will miss my normal social life. *sigh*
But still...
I will miss the both of you the most.
Don't forget me please...

Monday, November 29, 2010

10 days left...
If any of my dear readers has anything they want to do with me,
This is your last week. Book me now XD

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Oh! Mein Liebe buch...
I have filled your pages with wonnderful words, that only I understand.
Words that bring back memories, and incite the senses.
Oh, what a wonderfully, glorious device it is. Writing.
*Sniffles sobs*
I've got no inspiration for my Literary Diary...
My poor poor Literary Diary... Nothing for me to fill it with as of late.
No ink on cream paper...
My dear, I will come to you soon. Once my mind is filled with dreams and visions.
Haunting nightmares and crazy realities.
11 days left...
Do you know how painful it is?
Not being able to write again?
Feelings fade and new ones arise.
Fires die, Embers remain.

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Fuck... I can't think...
My mind is not working.
12 days left...

Friday, November 26, 2010

13 days left...

I'm pulled and torn.
Lead me down the last mile.
To the place of never ending light.

Okay, little emo period over.
Loving Tokio Hotel all over again... *Sigh*
Went shopping on Wednesday with mum.
Bought some new stuff. Haha! Bill!!! You're turning me into you! XD
No, no, no. I still have my own style. So don't worry.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Goodness, I had a looonnnnggggg rant on both twitter and FB...
I'll post it up here when I get back from work...

But on a more serious note...
I have noticed the extreme frailty of the human body, the human mind and the human psyche.
I have noticed that we are easily disturbed, as a puddle of water.
A single drop of water into that puddle causes ripples.
And so, just like that puddle of water, so are we.
I am noticing that we are more frail than before.
I do not want to die. I want to live.
And still, the dreams of immortality and eternal youth seem so near, yet so far.
I've had thoughts of living forever, in my mind. I've had thoughts of utopia.
But it is not possible.
Frail humans... So weak, and so naive...
If there is a higher power, it does not care... And it's planning is as flawed as it is ludicrous.
If there are aliens. I beg them to come and take us away. Evolve us.
If there is nothing. Then I beg Death to take us all in this instant.
Human kind is ultimately doomed if we do not do something.
And it won't be mother nature that kills us. It will be Human Nature.
15 days left...
Still a little sick, but I think I'm on the mend.
Returning to work after 4 days of rest.
In other news...

N. Korea shells S. Korean military base.
The South is angered. As is the rest of the 'civilized' world.
My view is that the South has every right to conduct military drills within their own territory.
But when they chose to conduct it near the N. Korean border, they should expect some form of military response, as they should very well know after several decades of minor skirmishes, arising because of such a situation.

I'm not condoning the North's response at all, for those who might misinterprt my views.
I'm merely stating that both sides were to blame. The North, as usual responded to the military exercise by flexing their own military muscle. Certainly there are other ways to resolve the matter, but I think, considering that Kim Jong Un, is the next in line, and that he has been slowly gaining power within the N. Korea government, the attack was likely condoned by both Kim Jong Il and Kim Jong Un, as a sign to the North Koreans that the new leader is a man of action, not words.

Still, I don't know for certain. It's just my appallingly terrible analysis of the situation.

Nach arbeit, nach arbeit...

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

16 days left...
I can't help but feel that I'm being setenced to death.
And that'll be the end of Ayron...

Monday, November 22, 2010

What am I to do?
Can I do what I want to without setbacks?
Sadly, no...

Depressed by the fact that I only have 17 days left before I am off to the army.
To lead regimented life.
To be just another face.
To be one of the dead.

But something glimmers on the horizon.
A lighthouse perhaps.
Or something else?
We shall see...
The burning question remains in me.
And the question is always without a doubt: Why?
I won't ask you directly.
Nor would you ever hear me ask you this.
Neither of us belong.
We don't belong.

Saturday, November 20, 2010


Friday, November 19, 2010

A little too late.

Ahh... How nice it would be if we had something like Germany's Gymnasium in Singapore.
They have much more focused studies at a younger age, while we only start at a teriary level.
And they study classical antiquites as well! Latin, Greek, Hebrew. And so many languages as well!
A Gymnasium is quite stressful and tough though. But I still wanna give it a go.
A little too late, I would think. But still...
Ah, in any case, it would be too late for me. I'm already 18.
But if I could, I would like to have a go at a Gymnasium =D

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Oh gosh... I miss you...
Not talking to you for so long is driving me crazy..
And I'm becoming paranoid all over again.
*Sigh* I shouldn't I know, but I can't help it.
Something about losing you, or having you taken away.
This isn't really helping my case is it?

Monday, November 15, 2010

Salt mine to salt mine

*Sigh* 3 weeks will go by really fast.
And I will leave this salt mine. Only to be transferred to another...
The only question is... Will the next one be better than the previous one?
Ah, we'll see, we'll see...
In about a month or so, we'll see if Ayron survives at all.
*Sigh* Life is cruel...

But still, looking at the glass half full will help me get through it.
I don't have to be the best soldier.
And I don't have to meet everyone's expectations.
So here's something for you, my commander's to be.
I'll do what you ask me to, as is my obligation.
And I'll say what you want me to, as is my obligation.
But I'm my own man, and don't expect anything else out of me.
I'll serve my nation with pride. But no more than that.
Call me a 'on the fence' citizen. But I know where else my true skills lie.
It most definitely won't be in the army.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Skating on thin ice.

Phew... So I didn't make a mistake.
So far as I can tell. But that was really dangerous.
I was practically skating on thin ice...
But now, all is well.


I think I made a wrong move...
One with really bad consequences for me... I dunno. I'll find out soon enough.
Somebody kill me if I did. Otherwise I'd do it myself...

Saturday, November 13, 2010


Why do I feel so alone?
Surrounded by people that I know, and people that I don't. And still I feel alone.
I do not seek their company though, which is strange. I want to drown in my own contempt and my loneliness.
Just forget about me and move on. And the world won't know that I ever existed. That there ever was a boy.
*Sigh* I don't know what it is that drives me anymore. Alone... I am completely, and absolutely alone.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

A whole bottle of wine.

I dreamt of a cocktail.
And I still remember the recipe.
Will go shopping tomorrow for the ingredients.
Who knows what this concoction will be?
Oh, went to get my spectacles made as well.
Shock! Yes, I know... I wear specs people. Control yourselves!
Uhm, just finished a whole bottle of wine. Yeap! Guilty as charged.
Replied a really long email. And I mean really long. I mean, who spends 3 hours replying a single email?!
Oh yeah, me! That's who!
Got a really great idea for Xmas gifts!
Gonna shop for them tomorrow!
Wrote a new 'dark' poem!
Yes, I have a dark side to my literary skills besides all the fluffy little poems.
Did a new drawing to complement the poem!
Discussed religion and politics and literature with some friends!
I forgot all about NaNoWriMo, thanks to my enlistment letter!
Gonna serve the army soon. Crap... Every cloud has a silver lining. Whoever said that better be right!
Am I insane? Yes! According to a Facebook quiz...

Note to all my lovely readers: This blog post was not brought on due to the fact that I finished a whole bottle of wine *hic*

Just a boy

I feel like the boy who sits in the corner till called.
The silent, ever serving butler.
The one who is at your beck and call.
And fades away the moment his duties are done.
I'm the second son.
Place priority on the first.
I'm the boy who's there when you call.
Gone when not needed.
And that's what I am. A boy. A son when needed. Otherwise, just a boy.

Monday, November 8, 2010

Well, I got work in the morning...
And I've got to wake up early apparently...
Aber Ich werde warten fuer dich. (???)

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Oh gosh... *Pants*
No sleep for me tonight...
Lest I see, hear and feel what I shouldn't yet again.

Friday, November 5, 2010

So, I completely forgot about NaNoWriMo... Hence I shan't be taking part in it.
Among other news... Grandpa's dinner was alright.
Finally wore my blazer that I bought since a few months back. Been quite hard to find the right time to wear it.
Anywho, people say that I look like Bill Kaulitz Xp
Which is one of the highest compliments that anyone can give me.
Cousin stayed over to chill. Nw we're both awake, and I still gotta go to work...

Don't ever forget me, Okay? :'(

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Okay, Xmas shopping's gonna be easy this year.
Only 2 people on my list.
You're both in for a real treat ^^
Egads! Xmas is almost here!
Gotta get my Xmas shopping done!

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Primal. Raw. Unbridled Beauty

Primal. Raw. Unbridled Beauty.
That's what it is, the nakedness of the human body. Beautiful to behold. Unique in every way.
Unfortunately nakedness would not be looked upon as beautiful. At least ever since pornography came in.
Ever since then, the value of naked beauty has been declining. So much so that it's hard for one to see a naked body and not get sexually aroused. Filled with lusts of the flesh. Polluted with thoughts of doing the naked one and be done with it. Such things are terrible.

One must look upon the act of sex as an art form. To see two bodies entwined together, connected at the hip and/or the lips. A symbolic bond of possesive ownership. A bond that one shares with only one other, or with several others. Though it is my personal belief that such a powerful thing should be shared with your one and only. Also one must take time to savour the beauty of one's partner. Never having sex for the sake of having it, or giving in to lust. To take the time to feel every part of one's partner, to just look, admire, and be captivated by his/her beauty is the highest silent compliment one can give...