Saturday and Sunday

(Saturday)
So once again Zhi came over and stayed over.

This time he was well prepared, got shoes, clothes, towel...

Really well prepared...

Well actually didn't want to go to church on Saturday, but in the end I went.
Went together with Shyang Zhi to KFC for lunch first before heading to church.

So anywho, pastor Tan preached.

Finished service and headed to roof top garden.

Then a series of events led to the taking of this picture...

If you want to know what happened just ask me, in fact I think you can only ask me...

Cause I think PY too 'pai seh' to talk about it. Haha!!!

Well after we hung out at rooftop we decided to head home, but ended up going to Mac at JP with Emy, Pammy, Zhi and myself.

Then had a craving for mango milkcurd, but the shop close already so I couldn't eat what I was craving... Anyways I was bored so I asked them what they wanna do. We agreed to just walk about. Then ended up going to SAFRA to look for PY and Sam. But couldn't find them...

Then invited Zhi over to my place again to stay over, then we played Xbox again and then we knocked out.

(Sunday)

Woke up around 9, then went to bathe and stuff, Zhi woke up as well, then we had Mac for brunch. (I know what you're thinking... Mac again?)

Then went for CG at Cynthia's place. It was super duper awkward. I can't say I enjoyed the CG meeting... But I did enjoy fellowshipping. So after CG we hung around Cynthia's place for awhile before going to MOS Burger at BPP. Then some bros decided to go play LAN. But I came home, so here I am blogging. Now I'm gonna go shower and sleep!

Oyasuminasai!

Well, Zhi came over again. This makes 3 weeks in a row.
I'm fine with it, in fact I'm happy when he comes over.
We get to play Xbox together and have fun.

Still deciding whether I should go to church or not...
Another 2 hours to decide...

Maa...

Lost Heaven

Hmm... Talked to Joel last night over MSN, and thought about alot of things.
To hang on to something such as me... It's futile.
I said it before, I'm a unsupported pillar...

I'm saying good bye Lost Heaven.
How I long for Heaven...
I'm letting go of something I've never had.
Time goes so fast.
Heaven is lost...

Well, I'm quite convinced that I wanna change to a design course...
But I'm gonna have to buck up my sketching skills...

Alot of things to do recently, I have 2 more presentations coming up, and exams are a month away...
I may do better for this exam, but then again, I don't really know.

Spent my day reading D. Gray Man.
Interesting manga.

(21/07/2009)

So far, this is my longest running blog.

Anywho, had a lovely chat with my aunt, and parents.
Possibly going to Kyoto, Japan in September.
Discussed about some things like food at my school,
how's my school and stuff like that.

Heading off to school in a moments time.
But I wish I could stay at home...
Maa... Well I suppose I've got to go.
Haven't been to church for a week already.
And this week will make it the 2nd week.

Shyang Zhi's been coming to my house for 2 weeks already.
It's kind of nice for him to come over and stay over.
We have fun playing Xbox, him using the computer,
and me watching movies and television.

The silence is enjoyable.
Without him coming over to talk about things related to God...
I'm content.

I do hope he'll come again this Friday...

Damn pissed.

Damn bloody pissed now...

My mood isn't at it's best now. Why?

Loud music, annoying people, irritating noise!

Who makes these things happen?
Family.

I get blamed for making things happen, even though it wasn't me.

Screw it all.

(15/07/2009)

Halfway through the school week already...

I'm doing my homework now, listening to some L'arc En Ciel, and racking my brains on how to do my homework... Tomorrow my team and I will be doing a presentation... Gotta dress smart.
Oh, there's maths tomorrow... I'm getting weighed down.

Well celebrated Cynthia's "birthday" on Monday. Then invited Kevin and Li Ming over to my place for dinner before they go home. Then did the usual stuff...
Oh! And I've joined facebook, at last, as some of you may know already.

Still thinking bout lots of stuff. Not too sure about what to really think about now.
Engineering is obviously not for me... I can't grasp the maths and the digital electronics part...
At least I'm doing rather well for my electrical and electronic part...
I wanna change course, but I'm rather apprehensive about that... Seems like people were right about it when they said that I wasn't cut out for the engineering course.
I'm considering perhaps a design course, perhaps interior design, or business... But I really want to make the right choice.

Still not too sure about myself, still questioning myself, and getting irritated at my lack of answers...

Going off.

Going off now to meet Wei Yang at JP... Wonder who else is gonna be there...
Maa...

I hate myself so much now...

(11/7/2009)

Kevin came over with Li Ming yesterday to just chill at my place, then Zhi came over rather unexpectedly as well. In a good way. Had fun just hanging out with them, and having dinner with them.

Kevin and Li Ming left earlier but Zhi stayed till it was so late that he had to stay over. Of course I let him, I definitely feel better. I watched a Jap mystery thriller while Zhi used my laptop to surf the net, play mafia wars, do facebook quizzes, etc... I think I went out around 1:30am... Then I awoke again at about 3:30am... And guess what Zhi was still awake! I went back to sleep again and woke up around 5am to find Zhi sleeping on the chair. So I woke him up and prepped his bed for him.

As of now Zhi Zhi is still asleep, while I am awake blogging away.

Meeting Wei Yang later at JP for lunch... Still considering whether I should go to church or not...

Final Results for MST

PEEE: 64/100
DE: 33/100
Engineering Maths: 21.5/100

This is demoralizing...
Maa...

We got a new DE teacher, and he sucks... He acts like a gangster, talks like one, and is by far the worst teacher I've ever met in 10 years of education.

It'll be a miracle if I can pass DE during the next exam.
Next exam is scheduled for the 24th of August.
Counting down now...

Stll confused and irritated with myself...
Angry and pissed off...
Not only at myself, but at others who presume to make decisions for me.

On a brighter note, I've managed to will myself to start packing for the moving to Centris. And I've managed to pack 8 boxes full of my books and misc stuff.
Also we've received our TOP (Temporary Occupation Permit), which means we'll get the keys soon.

Can't wait to move in to our new house.
It'll be a brand new start, with brand new surroundings.
Matte Kudasai... Scratch the new surroundings part...
Anyway I'll get a new room, which will be, unsuprisingly, decorated Japanese style.

Can't wait for Kevin, maybe with Li Ming, to come over tomorrow.
Hope to have loads of fun with him!

MST results

Feeling kinda down right about now.

Results for MST are back. Just waiting for Engineering maths now.

PEEE: 64/100
DE: 33/100

Not too good, If I say so myself. I expected to pass, but then again, I guess not
Maa...

Anyways I'm gonna start up a cultural blog soon with some other people or by myself
stay tuned for more.

Talked with Kelvin about some stuff last night.
I still don't understand, and am still confused.
I've drifted far, and can't seem to return.
After talking though, I feel scared...

I don't blame God for anything.
Merely myself, for being who I am.
To live a lie is painful.
But is my truth 'the truth'?
And is my lie a lie?

I'm very confused, and can't find solace.
I'm afraid and insecure.
To go on as I am, or to change?
I'm a creature of convenience.
That's what I am.

To have no freewill seems good.
Yet I'd be a human puppet.
With no soul, no substance.
To be free of restrictions,
or to be restrained but saved?