I've never ever felt so much better.
It's been an amazing walk with Him...
From 2 years ago on the 6th of April...
When a friend of mine brought me to church.
The feeling when he approached me was one of happiness.
I went and, well, things went on from there.
I got to know some great people from then on.
Kelvin, for one of course, also Joel.
Christina, I'll never forget. Always funny and spiritual.
Then W363 combined with W331.
Met some more people, whom I've become friends with.
People like, Dorothy, Sap, Joshua...
Then came December, and we multiplied.
People got emotional, and let tears just flow.
W363 was whittled down from 40+ members to less than 20.
But then we joined with W279.
And again I met more great, wonderful and amazing people.
Cynthia, Emily, Karuna, Wei Yang, Pei Yang, to name a few.
We had some great times together.
Then my friend left... I was devestated...
Things between us got... Complicated.
The situation got a little better.
But then I always relapsed.
People got worried for me. I think some even got sick and tired of me acting so... "Emo".
Then December came again...
And I saw my friend again.
It was an awkward situation.
I felt confused, and happy at the same time.
I thought perhaps things could be better again...
Wishful thinking on my part...
Well, then the school year started.
I was so hyped and forgot about certain things.
Then, I don't really know what happened.
It just did...
I'm not sure if I'm grateful for it...
Somewhere in June, I think, I started to attend church less.
Same for Cell group meetings.
Things got pretty bad...
I did drastic things to take my mind of certain thoughts...
People got worried again...
I got worried... Troubled... Confused... Angry?
And now here I am...
Faithless, unspiritual, hopeless...
But at the same time...
Energetic, elated, reborn...
Hope slowly returned... It came as a subtle wave.
Like a trickle of water filling up a pail.
Now I'm so filled with it.
Who should I thank for that?
My alternate self?
I'm not really sure.
But I think, experiencing church life...
Knowing those great people.
Gaining a friend and losing him...
Going through those valleys,
and climbing those mountains.
Feeling battered and feeling alive.
Are great experiences.
Something valuable to me.
Something to be treasured and remembered.
More of these experiences will be coming my way.
And be it up or down...
I'll take it as it comes.
My motivation pushes me on.
And makes me undefeatable.
Beliving, hoping, trusting...