Bad start to the year

Sometimes people don't really hear you out.
They doubt what you have to say.
The people whom you thought would support you turn out to be actually putting you down.
Why is that?
I wonder, but I get no answer.

All the same, like I said earlier this day. This is by far the suckiest day of my life.
Come to think of it, it's not that bad. But it is the worst day of the year 2010 so far.
Not a particularly good sign of the things to come in the year ahead.
To end my life would be as simple as jumping off a building, drowning in a river.
Slitting my wrists, or hanging myself from a tree.
Gassing myself to unconciousness, burning myself on a pyre.
But, it is not hope that pulls me from the abyss.
It is not faith that holds me back from the edge.
It is the very possibility of being master of my own life. Being the master of time.
Being the master of my own destiny that leads me to not cross the veil.

I need not conform to the norms of society, neither do I have to do as it says.
But still society is bound by its current trends and the collective thoughts of the people that form society. And it is because of such things that one cannot fully do as he or she wishes. A majority of people are conformists. The minority are anti-conformists, sometimes known as rebels to the majority.

I had hoped to receive some form of support, or at least a word of advice with a nice tone.
I had not expected a harsh thrashing down.
For that my mood has taken a further plunge, from the deep end of the pool, to the deep blue sea.
I had actually spoke to a friend of my plan and my thoughts.
Her listening ear and comforting words did much to lift my mood today.
But all that was brought down by a towering golem of harshness.
Familiarity, does indeed breed contempt.
A concept which I seem to have become familiar with.
A concept which seems impossible, but true.